chiltonmusic says: "Sooo true and so very..." on What Black Men and Women NEED to know about Marriage
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These are just my thoughts on what I am seeing as the breakdown of good, deep and spiritual relationships between African American men and women.
As for whose to blame? Who gives a care!! In my eyes we are so far beyond that it doesn't matter. What I think does matter is that we stop concentrating on being apart and start concentrating on building together.
Of course you can be totally independent and live by yourself in the desert if you really put your mind to it!! I believe equally that if you focus as much time and energy in creating a healthy and happy relationship as you do proving to yourself and the world that you can "Do it all by myself!!" Then you will have a happy relationship!!
But let's go deeper shall we? What does a happy relationship mean? Does it mean that you and your spouse will never fight? NO!!! Does it mean that you will never be angry enough to bend steel cause they pissed you off? NO again!!
So what does a happy relationship mean? I think it means taking the time to put that person first and that both parties put the relationship first. Its a constant battle of give and take and you just have to sign up for the ride and then just enjoy the hell out of it!!!
I heard a statistic the other day that said 70% of African American marriages end in divorce!! 70% freaking percent!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!? Do we really value marriage with such a small percentage of dedication to one another?
I don't know doesn't sound good to me and I am not judging anyone but I will say that its time to battle for our love!! Slaves were told who to marry and how long to marry and in essence how many children to have. The emotional connection was never even considered.
Now we are free to love and find love with whomever we like. The African American family has survived far worse than.....freedom. So it is my hope and prayer that we will continue to do so today as we mature into adulthood. Otherwise I fear for the future.