matrixone05's Blog

I will post and share news articles about famous individuals but I normally don't make extended comments on the life and passing of the rich and famous.

However, as I watched the funeral of Ted Kennedy this morning... I was reminded how much I admired him as a person and why. As a member of an extremely wealthy and priviliged family... He was part of that family tradition, raised in an environment that promoted service. As a wealthy priviliged man, he was exposed to a life and experiences that most of us cannot and will not ever grasp.

I look at his life and see the reflection of two teachings of Jesus, which stick out to me. One he edifies and the other...I believe he will be an exception to.

The one he edified was "Am I My Brother's Keeper?" and ohhhh was he... In his family, he became the source of strength that stepped in to be the father figure and source of support for those that were left behind by the many tragedies that struck that family. In his life of service to his community and this country, he was a champion for equality, rights, priviliges and services that should have been basic and accessible to all. His voice was strong. He fought for others with strength and passion. He used his status, wealth, connections and access to privilige not for selfish means, but to make life better for others.... What a remarkable man. How many people really try to make life better for someone else? How many people really have a genuine spirit of empathy?

I believe that God put us on this earth for the sole purpose of "Love"... To experience it and to share it. Sharing the love that is within has connotations that are as deep and wide as the oceans that surround us. When I watched his funeral, I noticed that something I frequently tell others stood out...

"When we close our eyes, what will matter will not be the things we have accumulated... But the people we have touched. Our eulogies will not be focused on what we have... But the things we have done. We cannot take things with us, we can leave a strong legacy of love... That will be passed on and endure forever."

Ted Kennedy took none of his wealth and privilige with him... Which brings me to the second teaching of Jesus that stands out when I think of his contributions to this world... "It is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle." This I believe he will be the exception to. His works, deed and apparent faith... Lead me to believe that when he comes face to face with our Father.... He will hear the words... "Well done."

And so with all of the deaths of the rich and famous that we have seen just this year alone, I have written of none of them. Not that they have not made contributions to this world... They have and those contributions were duly noted. But I make note of the passing of this man... Because my life and the life of all those I know was impacted in some way... By the positive contributions and sacrifices that he made....

Well done Ted Kennedy.

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Let me start by saying, I have no idea where I am heading with this yet... I just know that I read another "how long would you wait for a title" thread... and I felt a long winded rant coming on...

Why do I read so many threads from women.... attached to men... that had NO intention of EVER being anything more to them than a DYCK?
Why do I read so many comments from men that say... I won't value you less if you sleep with me on the first date and wonder... ARE you willing to tell YOUR daughter, or YOUR sister, or YOUR niece, or YOUR mother... go ahead, sleep with him... he will still value you?
Why are we in a rush for sex? Why do we throw caution to wind so quickly... knowing the danger we face ahead?
Why is it that once we know in our hearts, he doesn't want to us like that... do we try to MAKE it... that which it is not?
Why do we risk our hearts... that is attached to our v-jays... with a man whose character we do no know?
Why do we go there, let him take over our lives, break our hearts, fill our suitcases with drama.... and dammit... start over again with the next one?
Why do we think... our bodies can keep a man or make him change his mind?
Why do we f*ck you first and realize... we really don't like you at all.... later?
Why is it that we will not share our thoughts or histories with just anyone... but will open our bodies to someone we have only had 15 minutes of conversation with?

I am well aware this is not all women... and that this is not all men doing this... this is my disclaimer and acknowledgement of that fact... But I am old school when it comes to this. I don't believe that every man should have access to my body. I don't believe every man should have access to yours.

While I do believe that we were given the ability to enjoy one another physically for a reason.... I do not believe we are supposed to share the essence of the most valuable thing we own (ourselves) with anyone...

I am not judging anyone... to each his own... but I read these threads... These stories of "woe is me", "he done me wrong", "why can't I have a title" and I wonder.

Why didn't you know he only wanted sex?
Why didn't you ask in the beginning what he wanted?
Why didn't you ask if he was interested in a relationship?
Why didn't you find out if he was interested in a relationship... with you?
Why didn't you find out WHAT he wanted in a relationship first and IF you were the one that could give it to him?
Why didn't you speak up for you... and put your cards on the table and say... this is what I want? Do you want the same thing?
Why didn't you take the time to understand who he was, what he was about... if he had character and integrity?

What happened to getting to know someone first?
What happened to understanding who they were... IF they were the possibly the one for you?
What happened to wanting someone to know who you are... what you bring to table?
What happened to valuing oneself enough to wait until you understood those things BEFORE the "sexing"??
What happened to saying... you are NOT the one.. BEFORE you gave that which you can never take back..?

What happened to Relationships?

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My HEART sometimes misses the illusion of what it believed it had.

But the mind does understand the need and requirement to protect the heart.... and thus it will fuel the need to move that heart to face reality and move to safer ground...

My reality knows it is safer.

Once upon a time, women did not give themselves as freely to men they didn't know or barely knew. When I was growing up women did not want to be considered "a ho", men weren't jumping in line for a serious relationship with the girl that had sexed everyone around.

I was taught that my body is the most precious thing I own. I taught this to BOTH my son and my daughter. And I think, in reality, most people believe that about themselves. The ego is alive and kicking.

The thing I question is this... If you believe you are the most precious thing you have... then why are you willing to share it with anyone? This is where the biggest shift in our culture has occured. It wasn't that we weren't having premarital sex. It was that we weren't having sex with any and everybody. We were at least looking for someone to love us... or to fool ourselves that they did.

Someone's Pastor was correct, giving yourself away does empty and bankrupt us. So much so.. we draw on other people to heal us from the poor choices we have made and then we drain them too. I am trying so hard to understand the mentality that is prevelant today of "F*ck 'em first and the decide I don't like them later". I am so lost with that. This is what brings baggage.

So you go sex somebody you don't know, haven't taken the time to know and you have no idea what they believe, what values and morals they have or don't have. And then two weeks later or 3 months later, you are wondering wth you got into. How could they be so off... They called you out of your name, they gave you an std... they are crazy and stalking you... they forced themselves into your world and you cannot get rid of them...

Now what...??? You have a problem. One that wouldn't exist had you taken the time to know who and what you were dealing with (or at least attempted to). You finally get out of that bullshyt... and 6 weeks later (if then) its on to the next one. No evaluation of how you wound up there, no healing, no evaluating of the next one...

So this cycle continues and now... you believe all men/women are shyt. Or you are now the jealous insecure one, so you are stalking, because you got whipped by the sex and they didn't.

Bankrupt people... that go and bankrupt someone else.

Or... you meet someone, who really isn't the one you should be with, but you are feeling them. Damn they make the horns stand on the top of your head. Dyck hard, juices flowing...umph.. and then they teach you some things. Some things you would have never considered... and your sexual world has just been expanded.

Problem is.... this really wasn't the one for you.. But damn they stick with you... and what was once taboo is now the norm for you. "You take everywhere you have been... where you are headed". Remember that... But... let's say that now you have met the perfect person. Personality, same spiritual and mental level. That mind dance of verbal foreplay is on... erotic... intense... and you lay down and the sex is off the hook... except that "new" trick you learned... turns them off.... they are not interested in the slightest... Ahhhhh.... now what? What do you do with that last one that you are now carrying with you? That became part of your world... and should not have...

Bankrupt.. and you need to find the one that fulfills you... Will you... Will you find your "new" standard of a total package that can give you what you need now... but didn't 6 months ago???

Sex for the hell of having sex, may feel good... but later... you go home and are still empty. Your life is still missing someone. Empty sex to me is worse than no sex. When two people lay down together and the sex is about completing a bond... its sending someone off the charts because you love and care about them... and because you get fed off them being fed... that is liberating

(Most of my blogs tend to start as a response to a question in a forum or group. This one is no different.) Back to the title question...

What does it take to keep us interested in each other, wanting to talk and spend time together. What makes us feel good about not only ourselves but each other. 

Honestly I think a lot of it will vary from person to person and relationship to relationship. But here is my stab at it for now.

As we get to know each other, how much of who you are interests me? What do we have in common that we can share an talk about? What things are different, yet interest the other enough to hold our attention? I am pleased when you share who you are, what you believe, your goals and dreams with me.

I am pleased when you can feel comfortable enough to be honest with me, even if its something you might think I may not want to hear (like maybe that outfit really isn't the one for me). 

I think we please each other when we not only make an effort to understand and know our partners, their likes, dislikes, things that make them smile, things that set them off.... and then try to use that knowledge to benefit our relationships. I think we please our partners by stroking their egos with "I was thinking of you", "I can't wait to see you", "I miss you", "hey sexy", yada, yada... comments, messages and/or short texts. 

I think we please each other when we can understand our mates needs and try to meet them. When we learn what touch and spot turns them on. When we are willing to suprise them by finding something nice, sweet or spicy to add to their day that they weren't expecting. 

I think we please each other when we not only say we care and/or love them, but take the time and make the effort to show it...