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Life is strange. Having heard a story today that really made me think about how complex it is and why there is no such thing as an absolute. Despite how many people try to use absolutes to define the world to mold and shape it. People open up to me for some reason. It is crazy. But today someone I just met told me about his feelings about his family. His ex wife. His son.
Just because I am single doesn't mean I at one point did not think I would get married. My problem was I put an age on it and went in too deep with the wrong person. That is called youth and emotion. We didn't make it but my son did and for that reason and the gift of his sister, my daughter, I am good with it. Because of my good heart though some said/say I am too nice. But I doubt that too. I just am what I am. Anyway...
This guy admitted to me he messed up a good thing. Went too far and lost the love of his life. Stood before the judge and despite his ability to understand English spoken quickly said yes to everything but asked the judge to just not let his wife take away his son. With what I have been through over the years I felt that. And so did she.
He sees his son everyday. He pays his support religously and goes above and beyond. He admits he still loves her. But he is with someone else. He asked for advice and I gave it to him since he has no legal visitation order. There is no reason any decent judge, male or female, would deny him. It is rare when you meet good people. This is why it is a love story.
She cried in court when he asked about his son. She told him to stop agreeing to everything in court. With all he said he never said one bad thing about her. And from what he said I do not believe that she does not care about him. Why?
She does not want to see him. She cannot talk to him. And goes to work and school long hours rarely seeing their 7 yr old son. She is hurting. But Dad tells his son that is what she needs to do to make a better life for them and doesn't blame her to their child. Not even privately. He is a better man than me in that respect. He does not object because he knows what he did was wrong. He was and still is young. And so is she. And I wonder...
If things were diffrerent how many of us from "good families" would know our parents or grandparents if people back in the day were quick to divorce.
What do I know about love though? Who am I to say that getting married thinking if I do not like something she does I can get divorced and be ok? They say I have never been that brave to walk the aisle but I feel like I have never been stupid enough to do the same with someone who can be convinced to take the easy way out and get divorced when things get tough. That's not love that is convenience.
All I know for sure is X was touched which, as a man who has every reason to dislike the evil that women can do is not an easy task. I gave him advice not because he wants to hurt her but the system is set up that attorneys will make what should and could be resolved amicably a blood death match. He has to protect his rights. Love makes him weak. But it also makes him strong. Ya know? But right now you know what am I thinking?
I think that two people made a mistake and will probably go to the grave hating that day but never admitting it to the most important people. Each other. And that is my modern day tale of a love story. And I'll pray for a better outcome for them.
Now it is official! Got my first skeptical inbox note in quite a while which means someone, somewhere, is tight which means the rules of power are back in effect! I can truly piss off a rock as well as outhink one..
On the other hand just got back from seeing my father who is fighting the one fight we all will eventually lose. Death. Being a positive thinker negative thought wears on me more than most. I prefer work as my drug to cope. Putting myself into a shell so as not to think or talk about what is going on so that it won't be when reality, it is. But it is what it is. Besides people have it worse than me and not having been built to be a selfish bastard I can't really understand the whole "whoa is me" thing. Men fix things or at least try and should have little to no time to contemplate the "how you feel about it" aspects of things. That is why I am single and that is why I like Obama. Like me he is pragmatic to a fault.
If some do not like the realities of life there are always bullets to shoot oneself with. Roofs to jump off of. Or places to go do things to oneself that some participate in every day. These things change my life not one bit since weak people are not my people.
I love black people but not those who do not love black people and shoot black people for things like props or dumb shyt. That is someone who does not love anything and though they may have value it is weighed out negatively at the point of genocide and self hatred. So I guess not all black people are my people and those who have threatened to "get me" over the years still have something to aim for. And hopefully continue to miss.
So having watched a news show today say that "diversity" is a blight on America that stops many conversations about pragmatism. To some this means stereotyping is ok and should be pushed and accepted I have wonder about where this will go. Black men will continue to kill one another and say things like "I ain't nothing but a N". White folks will agree and go in just in time to collect the bodies before rigor sets in. Black women will be able to continue to ascend despite single motherhood and their sons fallen dead in the street. Justified that whatever happens is not her fault. And some women will continue to send me anonomous messages that express neither proof, idea, or fact. Just Hair salon opinion.
And my rent will still get paid.
The Rent that is still Too Dayumn High.
Life is irony.
I need to get it cracking. My time away from BP seems to have adversely affected the site so I will take the blame and come back home to tell truths and jokes on a daily basis now. Are you happy?
I been traveling and catching up on things and tonight in my hotel in NC finally getting some rest. Been going through the same issues that everyone else has but I know it. Defending a position which is not my own and a character which does not suit me as well as watching my son develop in front of my own eyes. I miss him today since because of school I could not bring him with me but I will get back up top ASAP since he already has hinted that even two days with mom have been a test already. Another blog. Another day. Or maybe not.
But on BP I see the libidos are getting revved up and most of ya'll are probably getting it in as I type since Monday is not a weekend. Expect many absent co-workers and never ask the day after why your friends are sleepy or sitting sideways. Will I be loved tomorrow? Who knows since I will be handling buis in a place where most men go to chase women who do not love them but may be amenable to pretending for a few hours but as I said...it is buisness. Sad but true.
My father will go home tomorrow from the hospital and don't ask but thank God my 5 aunts have yet to lynch his new wife. That would not make black people look good at all AND I would cringe to see the link posted in a forum. Even if they may be justified. I am just so past the drama that its a non cipher(80's reference). I met the "Rent is Too Damn High" guy in DC which was pretty interesting since he was announcing his bid for President that day and I was looking to only score a Steak and cheese for old times sake. I can't even eat food without running into someone famous when I travel! I would have rather got the cheesesteak but WTH. I told him he was interesting during the debate and may end up in the documentary which would be way cool. First a old Bad Boy video and now 15 yrs later a bad candidate video. Well not bad like Palin bad since the brother is harmless and at least he knows something. Rent is too dayum high.
I am coming back because trying to be apathetic and aloof does not work for me and soon I will be going back to work in buisness. After I go on a mini vacation of course. And because Facebook is a ridiculous premise since when you think about it there are probably very viable reasons why you did not keep up with folks after HS/college/Juvenile Hall in the first place. Plus, being single and noting the number of marriages broken up by Facebook trysts I can only be "That guy". You know...the one u catch in Dad's bathrobe when you cut school that Mom explains is only butt naked on the sofa because I was demonstrating a new yoga technique.
So as usual..my blogging was interrupted by my life/phone and it is time to get ready to spend another night in a Hotel alone, Three nights now an official John world record which shall never be duplicated and is strangely,,,nice. Now I know I'm old.
Peace and chicken grease...
This may be long, deep, and toxic subject matter which means its things we need to address everyone. But question is do we address things like cowards? Heads faced down. Pre determined outcome turned into humorous pain killers. Numbing the soul and assuaging the conscience with jokes? Slumber at what price?