HouTX_Writer's Blog |
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(NOTE: I will try to post the pictures that would not load here in an album...) The “PAY IT FORWARD” Project and Challenge by Raquel Y. Eldridge The other day, my home girl (thanks, T.A.) sent me a short video about a news story being done on this duo of women who were performing random acts of kindness all around their city. I’d done things of that nature before and the smile you get is worth every cent you’ve spent! It is in that spirit that I knew I wanted to do more and create an actual Pay It Forward Project for myself and challenge others to get involved!
The trick is not to do it simply for the purpose of karma. Be kind without expecting anything tangible in return. Anonymity is key whenever possible, but, that’s not always easy to pull off. So whether it’s anonymous, semi-anonymous and non-anonymous, still do what you can to help in any way you can. When you give, do not stifle the person with conditions or restrictions. Also, it’s important to keep it simple! The more thought you have to put into something, or the more complex a task is, the less likely you are to follow through.
There is an economic crisis occurring in our country, and every day, hundreds of jobs are being lost. Those of us who are blessed enough to still be employed must attempt to bear some modicum of the responsibility of helping our fellow man survive. In years past, when the stock market was running like a well-oiled money machine, and you felt pretty confident you’d never lose your job, it was easy to be flippant about the nation’s needy and homeless. But, now, all the Enron’s, AIGs, Mortgage Companies, and the rest of the greedy business practitioners have left a lot of ill-prepared, misinformed people under the same bridge as the man who was a substance abuser or someone we chose to view as “chronically lazy”. We have been forced to see our own faces on the faces of those standing in food lines or living in their cars.
So, please take a moment to read the list of ideas for how you can join in on my personal challenge to help pay kindness and love forward over the course of the rest of the year.
WARNING: There’s a very real chance that you’ll become addicted to the smiles of strangers…and what better addiction is there to have in this day and age.
Anonymous
1. Buy a bunch of “Get Well Soon” balloons and take them to your area children’s hospital. Stop at the nurse’s station and say, “Would you take these to the kids in the Burn Ward or the Cancer Ward?” Then simply walk away.
2. Go to the Post Office at Christmastime and ask for a Santa letter. Get the child whatever it is he/she has listed at the top of his/her wish list and have it shipped to them from “Santa”. Santa doesn’t HAVE to be a myth.
3. Pay for someone’s cleaning at the dry cleaners. If it’s the type of place where people pay at pick-up, tell the cashier to go back to the rack and pull an order for one or two shirts and pay the bill for them. Ask them to staple a “Pay It Forward” card on the order.
4. Donate Blood.
5. Have a bouquet of “Just Because” flowers to the “shy,” “quiet,” or “lonely-seeming” girl at the office. Feign shock and non-involvement…never taking credit and never letting anyone else in the office know you sent them.
6. Call one of your local utilities and ask to pay the bill of an elderly citizen. Or, if you know of a struggling single parent in your neighborhood, give the utility company their home address and say you’d like to pay something towards their current amount due (or past due amount).
7. Instead of throwing away the things you no longer want, donate your old clothing and furniture to the needy. If you hold a garage sale, pledge to give at least 10% of the proceeds to a local charity or the food bank.
Semi-Anonymous
1. Write a generic letter of “Awesomeness” to a child or teen. Everyone knows a teacher…so give the letter to a teacher and have him/her give it to the kid who is trying hard but still struggling in class. The teacher could say, “I told someone about how hard you were trying to get a hold of this subject and they asked me to give you this letter.”
2. Pay the Beltway Toll/Parking Fee for the car directly behind you.
3. Go to discount stores or resale shops and buy children’s books or activity books and take them to a women’s shelter for distribution to the kids.
4. If you ever decide to cut your long hair short, don’t forget to braid, bind, and gather it for “Locks of Love” or a similar hair donation agency that makes wigs for people dealing with cancer treatments and recovery.
5. Hold a fundraiser for the teacher’s at a local or neighborhood school. We already know they are severely underpaid for one of the toughest jobs in the world. Help them get the supplies they need but the district can often not afford to give area children a better education.
6. Stockpile sweet (but non-romantic) Valentine’s Day cards as soon as the season is over and give those cards away all throughout the year. Hand them to strangers who pass you by on the street or your send them to your friends via snail mail.
7. If you’re crafty, make use of your own down time while waiting during your own mundane tasks (waiting at the doctor’s office, etc.) by knitting scarves, blankets, caps, mittens or baby booties for the homeless or shelter-dwellers during the winter.
8. Prepare a nutritious sack lunch for a homeless person and hand it to him/her saying "have a great day”.
9. Volunteer at the local homeless shelter, the soup kitchen, animal shelter or senior's home. Time is the easiest thing you can give to others.
10. Pick up garbage at your local park. It’s great exercise for you to walk the expanse, but caring for the earth beautifies the scenery for others at the park to enjoy and honors the environment simultaneously.
11. Write letters of support and encouragement to our soldiers who are protecting our country’s freedom all over the world. If possible, get together a group of people and do a large care package for a random unit of soldiers or several small ones for individual soldiers.
Non-Anonymous
1. The next time a stranger says they like something simple on you (a bracelet, a scarf, a neck tie, etc.), if it’s not too sentimental to you, take it off and give it to them.
2. Let the person standing behind you in the “ten items or fewer” line go before you…if financially possible, tell the cashier to put their items on your ticket.
3. Visit an elderly neighbor’s house and ask them if they need to have anything repaired. If nothing, sit with them, anyway, and keep them company for a few hours. Ask them to tell you what the world was like when they turned twenty-one (or whatever age, but be specific…even people suffering with dementia hold onto long-term, old memories better than what happened in their lives the day before.).
4. Commit time to volunteer at a local library to read a dozen books a year to some small children.
5. Tell the manager of a restaurant how great your waiter/waitress was.
6. If you’re just that kind of person who loves keeping children, offer to babysit your friend’s children to give them a night of freedom to do something they haven’t done in a while.
7. Cook a casserole for a new mom. Caring for newborns is tiring and draining. Mom will appreciate the ability to eat something home-cooked without having to cook it herself.
8. Buy a book for a college student. It doesn’t have to be new, used ones work just as well, and you’ll be removing some of the debt that often plagues students for years into the future.
9. Clip a $5, $10, or $20 bill to a “Pay It Forward Card” and as you pass by someone’s table on the way out of the restaurant, drop or slip it on the table or simply hand it to someone sitting there. If they refuse to take it, give it to the next table.
10. Buy Lottery Scratch-Off tickets and put one in an envelope with a “Pay It Forward Card” inserted. Hand it to a receptionist on the way out of a business appointment. You just might change that person’s whole life.
11. Mow or rake your neighbor’s lawn while you are mowing or raking yours or shovel someone’s walkway or de-ice their car if you’re shoveling or de-icing your own.
12. Drive an older person in the neighborhood to the grocery store (they will love the opportunity to get out of the house, as well) or if they aren’t able to go themselves, take their list and go to the store for them. If at all possible, pay for their things.
13. At your office, thank the “little people”. Everyone’s part is essential and no one’s job is purposeless. Thank the mail guy, the girl who orders supplies, or the door person.
14. Share your umbrella with someone who doesn't have one on a rainy day. I personally walked a man to his car one day during a pretty hard downfall at my office building. He smiled at me and said, “Wow, there really are some thoughtful people left in this world.” I smiled all the way home because it wasn’t that big a deal and his car was on the way to mine…but potentially, I refreshed his faith in people.
15. Develop an inner city beautification program that gathers on the weekends to mow too high lawns, plants produce gardens, pick up trash, paint over graffiti, and repair fences.
16. Be a mentor.
Pay It Forward Cards
I mentioned in some of the suggestions the use of a Pay It Forward Card. Create a note card or something that serves as notification that your random act of kindness was part of a Pay It forward campaign and that will hopefully inspire the recipient of your kindness to go be kind to someone else. I went on Google Images and found this as an example:
(click on link)
SYNOPSIS Ramona Shaw moves to Chicago to aide her husband, Darius, in realizing his dream of opening a medical center with his best friend, Keith Lewis. In a new place and in a new house, she doesn't have any friends and she grows bored when Darius' workload begins to monopolize a lot of his time. Eager for something to keep busy, she dedicates herself to fixing up their home. Enter Cheyenne Morris, a beautiful and wildly successful interior decorator. Cheyenne's down-to-earth and friendly nature makes it easy for them to become fast friends. Cheyenne is battling with the troubling times in her relationship with her fiance', Chad, while Ramona battles with the loneliness in her marriage. Ramona and Cheyenne eventually come to share a friendship and a secret so deep, it completely changes their priorities. It's a secret that can never be allowed to come to light. If it does, love, marriage and their once predictable lives could be forever changed. Find out what happens when everything done in the dark threatens to come from behind closed doors and if anything can ever go back to "normal". PREVIEW Once we started walking around in Eclectic Environment, I was in love with the place. The vibrant colors and textures of the store gave me an intensely excited feeling. Darius and I had lived in a naked house for so long, the mere thought of the assortment of colors available made me weak at the knees. Since Cheyenne wanted to start on the master bedroom and bath first, I headed in the direction of flooring and immediately spotted the perfect tile for the floor of the bathroom. It was a stunning Italian tile in a warm olive green with flecks of gold. We decided to bring the warmth of the golden shade out by using accessories that would lift them out, yet still keep in harmony with the green. I knew in my gut, and Cheyenne agreed, that as soon as everything was in place, I would practically be living in my bathroom. As the two of us shopped and browsed around, I really got to know Cheyenne as a person, not just someone who I'd hired to do a job and would never see again, or someone who I might run into from time to time in passing. Cheyenne was someone I could feel myself getting really close to for some reason. I'm not sure if I was trying to create an instant bond with her because most of my friends were hundreds of miles away in Detroit, or if the instant connection I was feeling with her was genuine after all. It was near six thirty when I pulled my burgundy Chrysler Sebring into our circular driveway. I was very happy to see Darius' Cadillac Escalade because it meant my baby was home. Soon after I unloaded all of the shopping bags from the car and put the things away, I straightened up the kitchen since he'd taken the liberty to fry pork chops and French fries, which left a mess all over the place, returned my friend Rita's call from Detroit, and went to the bedroom to change my clothes, I began telling Darius about our day. I talked in depth about the color scheme we'd chosen for the bathroom and how we planned on going furniture shopping on Monday. He mumbled something about that being nice, but he showed no real enthusiasm whatsoever. In fact, he was so engrossed in the work he had spread across the bed, I think I could have told him that I was growing a third leg out of my forehead and he wouldn't have blinked an eye. I loved that Darius strived hard to be the best doctor he could be, but I was under the impression this move to Chicago and his being a co-owner of a medical center, would give Darius more time to spend with me instead of less. One of the best things about being the boss was that you could delegate all of your responsibilities to your subordinates. At least that was the way it was supposed to be. He'd told me the other day that the clinic was almost completely at full staff. So why in the hell was he working so hard and why was he always doing so much damn work at home? Maybe I was just being silly, or maybe the fact I was lonely deep down within and starving for attention was really starting to come to the surface. It was almost two hours later when Darius finally put away his work and showed some interest in me. His laptop was still in the bed on top of the comforter. I was lying across the bed channel surfing but having no luck finding anything to watch long enough to hold my concentration. Even with my fine, smart, witty and talented husband right next to me, I was bored. This whole bored feeling was beginning to be too much for me emotionally. Everyday the feeling became more and more overwhelming. I was trying my best not to make a big fuss about it because I knew it wasn't necessarily Darius' fault. On the other hand, he had to know something was bothering me, right? "Now, sweetheart," he said as he slid his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, "Tell me all about the colors you and Cheyenne chose for the house. You did say you picked the colors for the kitchen, right?" Okay, did he not hear a single word I said? In an effort to be nice, and not start an unnecessary fight with him, I said, "Olive green and gold. I think you'll like it." I was using my pleasant voice because obviously he was oblivious to what my inner tension was all about. "Well, baby, you know I'm all for whatever you choose. I mean as long as it isn't anything too drastic." All of a sudden, Darius slid his warm, large hand up my thigh. The direct stroke almost scared me, though I always welcomed his touch. "It won't be, I promise." "So, are you and Cheyenne hitting it off well? I know how you women get when it comes to shopping. It must be something in the air they blow out the vents that makes y'all lose your minds." He chuckled after I gave him a look. "No, but really, is she someone you think you could be friends with?" "Oh, yes most definitely. I think she's very nice." "Keith seems to think the same thing. Man, he sounds like he's got it bad for the woman. All that and he hasn't been on one date. She looks good and everything, but she ain't as pretty as you are so I don't see why his nose all wide open." The whole time he's talking, his hand kept creeping further and further up my thigh. "Well, Keith thinks anything with tits is nice. Besides Cheyenne has a man." "Oh, yeah. Well, hmm what about yours?" He asked teasingly. I liked it when he was feeling playful. "Mine?" I asked turning over and looking at him. "Yeah, your man; what about him? I bet you've got his nose all wide open wit' your sexy self." "Well, I don't know much about what his nose is doing nowadays. Lately, I haven't seen that much of him. Maybe his nose is too deep in those books he reads to be wide open for me." I said, half-joking, half-serious. "He'd be the biggest fool in the world to not be sprung with someone as beautiful as you at home. I know I most certainly find you desirable." "Really?" I asked. "See, take these sexy thighs, for example. Any man in his right mind would take one look at these smooth, caramel thighs and want to do nothing but lick them." "Lick them?" Oh, yeah, this was turning me on immensely. "Yeah, let me show you what I am talking about." Like bees to honey, Darius's tongue bonded to my skin. After a few short, but very intimate kisses planted on both my thighs, he soon found his way up and centered. The warm flickers of his tongue to my moist mound were indeed just what the doctor ordered. 'Bout damn time I get some attention around here. ****** The following morning I got up early. The way Darius had put the loving on me last night knocked me right out. In all actuality, both of us were asleep shortly afterwards. The sex hadn't been that good in a while. You know, now that I think about it, maybe that was another reason why I was so moody. Lack of good dick can do that to a sister sometimes. If you've ever had any good dick, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Prancing around the kitchen, wearing nothing but my wine colored Victoria Secret's robe, I started cooking breakfast. It had been some time since I went all out and made my specialty omelets, which I stuffed with sausage, diced onions, green peppers, tomatoes, shredded Colby cheese, and topped with salsa and just a hint of cilantro. Of course, breakfast wouldn't be complete without my southern style home fries and freshly squeezed orange juice. The first time I made this breakfast for him was the morning following the first time we'd made love. Oh, he felt so good. We made love all night long. We'd only been dating for two months at the time, and Darius used to joke around with me saying that if it weren't for my omelets, he wouldn't have called me the next day. He can joke all he wants to, but I know that between my sensational coochie and my award-winning omelets, the Negro was hooked.
SYNOPSIS Journey through the lives of Emily and Skylar Mathis. These two sisters are coming of age in a world that takes no prisoners and has no loyalties. A world where life's little trials and tribulations can change the course of your entire life in the blink of an eye.
Emily is a small time beautician's assistant whose beauty school education is never put to use until an untimely incident puts her in the controller's chair. Using this to her advantage, she rises to the challenge and exceeds with unexpected grandeur. Her dedication to love leaves her hurt and at a loss.
Skylar is beautiful, young, and innocent until fate throws her a life-altering curve ball she isn't ready to hit. Once a grocery store checkout clerk, she makes an unsuspecting change in careers, which lead to more decisions that not only affect her life, but also changes the course of the people's lives closest to her. She battles to reclaim her happiness, her stability, and her innocence.
These young women, and their friends; Victoria, Meagan, Ginseng and Myeisha, evolve from their adolescence into glamorous adulthood. Their lives seem perfect to the world but dark secrets, bad circumstance and foolish choices cost them a lot more than they are willing to pay. In time, things are returned to some sense of normalcy, but at what price?
PREVIEW When we got back to the house, I packed my dress with the things I would be taking to Joshua's parents' home. I changed into a nice silk pantsuit and put on my silver accessories. The girls then picked me back up so we could go to dinner and to a nightclub. I was shocked to find the club they took me to featured male exotic dancers. While they were fine specimens of manhood, I found myself comparing their bodies to Joshua's and I concluded I had as fine a man as they were at home already. The best part about that was that Joshua was all mine, and he was about to be my husband. I briefly wondered what he and his friends were up to. I was fantasizing about his hands touching my body, fingers running through my hair when I was brought back to the here and now by the damn near naked man who was taking center stage at our table. Victoria and Myeisha yelled out to the club attendees, "Bachelorette over here!" Everyone handed me single dollar bills. The dancer started moving his body against me and I was less than impressed. Hell, Joshua's penis was bigger than his was. I smiled and gave him the money, anyway; thinking about how sprung I was. Throughout the rest of the night, after the other dancers noticed how well our table was tipping, they all managed to make their way over in our direction. This didn't bother my friends one bit, but me, I was bored. Soon enough, it was after midnight and that was when the gentleman dancers left the stage and we could just sit, talk and relax. I was glad the atmosphere had taken on a more subdued tone. I was sipping on my glass of red wine when the conversation started on the subject of men. Since I was the blushing bride, I had to get my praise on for my wonderful fianc . I talked to no end about how great he was, how happy I was when I was around him, and how excited I was about becoming his wife. This was truly a dream come true, and I had nobody but Victoria to thank. "Honey," Myeisha jumped in, "your man is a doctor. He's going to be gone all the time. Especially with him being a gynecologist and an obstetrician. Women have babies all day, all night, all year. You may not ever see him. Do you think you can handle that?" "Yeah, I guess. I'll have to see. I mean he's always been so conscientious about making time for me. I don't ever feel neglected," I answered. Ginny said, "I just hope you know what you're getting into. I'm not saying anything against Josh, of course, but you've got to watch men." Meagan added, "Yeah, you need to always be on your toes. Always keep yourself one step ahead of him, girl. I mean you need to start stashing money in a secret bank account the day you guys get married. I see women do it everyday at the bank." "Don't you think that's a little too much? I mean, if I prepare for a catastrophe, one will surely happen, right? If I start acting like I don't trust our union to last, it won't. What if Josh finds out? He'd be so hurt. I intend to be with him forever, guys." "Well, if it will make you feel better, think of your savings account as wild money. Keep telling yourself you're saving it for the time you'd like to buy something really extravagant for yourself," Myeisha said. "So," Skylar said, "Have you done any research on Europe, yet? Do you know where you want to go and what you want to do?" Skylar was beginning to get out more. She was just at two months pregnant and not showing at all. "I know the hotel has a great tourist package. They automatically plan a schedule full of activities. We'll go to museums, parks, and see some shows. But I'm sure we'll be spending most of our time in our room, though," I said with a big smile. "You are such a freak. Don't wear it out, all right. You've got to get some of that same dick for the rest of your life," Myeisha laughed. "I'm not going to wear it out, trust me." We all laughed. "Yeah, right; I know how you get sometimes. You're like a Spike Lee sequel waiting to happen - a regular 'She's Gotta Have It ALL THE DAMN TIME!'" Myeisha continued. "I guess you could've done worse. He could be some sorry Black man who's still waiting for everything to just come to him. Joshua's ambitious and highly educated. He's a gentleman who I can tell just wants to make you happy. Hell, you know you got it going on because he hasn't ever hit you or nothing. Usually men with so much power and influence tend to abuse the people in their lives because they think they can and because they don't ever want the world to see them sweat, so they go lay their hands all over their woman in order to vent out the pressures at work on someone who doesn't hold their career in their hands." I could feel the blood physically rush from my face. I had not told any one about the night Joshua hit me because I had convinced myself he would change. From the example he was setting ever since then, I was sure he had gotten it under control and no one would ever need to know. I was glad when Ginny said she would have to cut our little get together short because she had to go check on her store and finalize a few things before the wedding tomorrow afternoon.
We left and they dropped me back at the house where I was forced to sit and think if marrying Joshua was indeed in my best interest.
"Woman to Woman" by Shirley Brown - A Lyrical Translation Am I the only one in the world who finds the song "Woman to Woman" a stupid commentary on the "I really do think it's better to have a piece of man as opposed to no man at all" mentality? I mean, we think it's jamming because it's old school?but have we ever really examined the lyrics?? Woman To Woman LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I already don't trust my man, so I go through his pockets. Instead of calling my old man in the room to ask him why he finds it necessary to collect the names and numbers of other women?I decide to pick up the phone and call you, Barbara. I could have stopped the whole connection between you and my man by confronting him, but I prefer messy %#&@$! behavior. LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I might not be woman enough to school my man, but I am certainly woman enough to school another woman. I think you might cop an attitude with me, but I don't intend to let you get a word in edgewise for fear you might tell me I can keep my pathetic excuse for a grown man and that you gave him your number because he lied to you and told you he didn't HAVE a woman at home who paid all his bills, bought all his clothes, and gave him a free car in which to hoe about town in. If I find out that you're a victim of his, as well, I might realize how ignorant I sound on this phone. LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I'm assuming you've known my man long enough to have fallen in love with him? and with that assumption in place, allow me to remind you that he belongs to me. I haven't reminded HIM that he belongs to me because obviously he's the one who has completely forgotten that he has a woman at home. He knows I accept this kind of behavior from him because I love him from the top of his sorry head to the bottom of his weary-free feet (since he doesn't stand on them to go to work). I think I've earned his devotion and respect because I bought all the furniture in the house that he lounges around on and all the food he eats when he's lounging and building up his strength to go hoe around. LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I'm blindingly desperate to have this man in my house because he's too sorry to buy any of his own clothes or work so he can pay his own car note. Instead of making him accountable for his actions when I'm out working to keep a roof over our heads and him draped in all these free-from-me luxuries, I thought that I would call you to appeal to your feminine side in hopes you'll tell him not to call you anymore because I'm such a formidable woman. I will use my entire paycheck and overlook his infidelous actions just to keep him and you should be made aware of that, Barbara, straight from my fool-%#&@$! mouth. LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I want you to think of me as your average, everyday homegirl who is just shooting the conversational breeze with you about men. If you were me and if you've ever been in love with a man?you've assuredly been as needy for a man's existence in your life (as I am now) that you don't think anything at all is wrong with what all I doing in the name of preserving my great relationship with my nothing-but-good man. LYRICS: TRANSLATION: I have no CLUE as to what it takes to be in a happy home because something is obviously either askew with me, my man, or our relationship that he's decided to take up with another woman. Instead of owning that, I blame you for being the recipient of my ho-azz man's attention. I keep asking you if I'm right or wrong, knowing full well, I'm wrong but if I say it enough I might convince myself that I am doing something logical or productive by calling you. Let's forget about the fact that my man is probably out with someone other than me or you in is free car since he's not here right now. LYRICS: Now, woman to woman, I don't want no trouble now TRANSLATION: I hope you don't challenge me on ownership rights to this man who hasn't done right by either one of us. I have no intention of losing him so think of this as a favor from me to you that I'm allowing you the freedom to get yourself a real man that won't make you have to do something ignorant like call another woman to discuss the sanctity of keeping grips on a sorry %#&@$! man. |
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