SwaggieC's Blog

Hey everybody, welcome back! I am so glad to see you all. We have a lot of ground to cover tonight on the matter of finance and mental wellness in our community. Therefore, I'm going to invite our Royal Ella Curry to get us ready for another proud moment in time featuring Ms. Rosalynn West on the Pinkster. For a complete broadcast of this recorded history telling, please download the podcast for Friday 22, 2008. Ella allows our Joint Hosts:: Cheryl Lacey Donovan, Speaker and Author of, "Women, What the Hell Were You Thinking?" and Kevin Wayne Johnson, Jr. of Writing for the Lord Ministries, Speaker and Author of the "Give God The Glory Series," Mrs. Donovan opens with the following question: A lot of marriages fail due to finances. What are some ways that married couples can avoid this pitfall? Monica Carter ("Zoom Powers: Your Key To Hitting Your Personal Business and Financial Targets") explains that improving your financial health improves yours crown. Couples need to discuss ahead of time their financial values and decide where do they want to put their money. They have to be on the same page about finances. Financial improvement then comes with the discipline of saving, investing, and a commitment to not wasting money on frivolous spending. Monica practices the 80/20 Rule about money. African-Americans have approximately 845 million dollars buying power, but we spend our money on consumable goods. Based on the 80/20 Rule, 20 percent should come off the top of your income with 10 percent being tithed and 10 percent being saved at a minimum. When we live off more than we earn, which is by and large the case, there is no way to save for the future. The result is livingin the red (i.e. bad credit and/or bankruptcy results). African-Americans typically tend to live above our means. Cheryl agrees stating that if we only knew the truth about millionaires, we would not get stuck in that fantasy of "keeping up with the Jones'." In truth, Millionaires don't spend money recklessly or frivolously...(uh-hm...I know I don't). We need to change our mindset about such expenses that equate throwing money out the window such as renting. African-american need to be investing in home owernship. Cheryl says that at age 24, she was a homeowner. That is because home ownership was a legacy passed down to her from her parents. She passed that down to her son whois also a home owner at age 24. Furthermore, Cheryl tells us that the Jones' are a myth. (uh-hmm...OMG, you mean there are no real Jones?). They do not exist! As close to reality the Jones family are, we have to understand that they started yesterday. They worked and built up to where they are today so when we jump out there on the first day trying to live like them, we are doomed financially. Cheryl says we need to set goals and we cannot do that until we change our mindset. Amen? Amen! Now, Cheryl teaches us that fiancial wealth must start by parents planting the seed into their children. We need to understand that wealth is owning your own business and your own home rather than working for somebody else who signs your paycheck or renting which costs more than a mortgage payment and you have an investment. Renters have nothing after paying hundreds of dollars each month compared to home owenrs who build equity. That means that home owners have property to sell for cash and renters do not. Homes traditionally increase assets while apartments don't. Amen? Amen! Monica could nt agree more. she says that entrepreneurship is the way to the American dream! It allows you to contribute to society and benefit. Anybody can be an entrepreuneur by just starting with your expertise and over time, you will grow your business. it can be a side business at first, Monica explains. She explains how she worked a full time job for two years until she could get her personal business afloat. Kevin Johnson emphasizes that that is the very reason he is a fan of non-fiction books beause we can educate and inspire others to increase knowledge in the community. He repeats that the Jones' do not exist in reality. They are an illlusion and have always been. We need to stop comparing to others and be a good steward over our finances in order to prosper. The difference between depreciable assets and appreciable assets should be taught to our children. For example, depreciable assets include automobiles, clothes, plasma televisions, furniture, etc. while appreciable assets include 401K plans, homes, stocks, certificate of deposits, and savings. So, what should we ask before we get married? Should we do a credit check on our potential spouses? Well, let's step back a moment for a crash course on Marriage 101. Jewel Powell is the Author of this book. she explains that when she married in 1996, she soon started questioning herself as to why she got married. She was not investing in her marriage and four years later, she kicked her husband out. Jewell began developing her relationship with God and tested the bible. She was able to see why her marriage did not work and then she was able to reunite with her husband. Their marriage is now 12 years strong and she is happy. Author of the book, "The Universe Is Inviting You In," Matthew C. Horne states that individuals need to practice self-help. We need to be in the world, but not of the world is a basic theme of his. As he informs us, individuals must put his or her dreams into motion and then god will meet you and take it from there. There are limitless possibilities and we should not, therefore, limit ourselves. Kevin adds that his journey began as a mission to understand what is important first in life from different perspectives. That made a relationship with God top priority. This is the same thing that must occur in any career or work place. Marriage is an institution just like the Family unit is one. They are both ordained by God. When we understand our role in the unit, we avoid creating or contributing to dysfunctional units. Kevin says that "Give God the Glory" is both work and relaxation. He is on the faculty of nine different conferences incuding one in London, England teaching about the publishing industry. He understands the priority of God and family and career. From cheryl's standpoint, the biggest battle we fight is our own sould. We are bornout of our life experiences and should not doubt our self-wroth. God sees you as a human being and women should see themselves as god sees them. Cheryl invites the audience to experience her radio program, "More Than Rubies" by visiting her website. Cheryl promotes women to get more healthier relationships. So, having poured down the cement, what should we ask before we get married and should we do a credit check on our potential spouses? Monica strongly suggests taking the same route she and her husband took which was pre-marital counseling. When they realized that they needed to address their own credit issues, they waited until they were bot fiancially in the black as advised by their church leader. They had no bills going into the marriage. In addition, Monica says that she and her husband agreed to live below their means as they became entrepreneurs. Definitely, agrees Cheryl. It is important to have some values of money. Cheryl says that it is important to look at credit reports (individually and jointly). Cheryl then asks: Is marriage still valued in our communtiy? Monica believes it is, but we don't now how to keep it together. That is the problem as she sees it. As Jewell said, until she decided to test God and worked hard at it, she was through with her marriage. There was full agreement that communication and compromise were key and as Cheryl pointed out, "thre is nothing worse than feeling lonely in a marriage." Kevin raised the point that as far as men were concerned, marriageis a unionof two imperfect people and they then become one and that takes work. We don't get the training or know-how. He says that we should talk to the pastor for guidance so we do nt end up not knowing 'how' to. Kevin asks Monica for some tips and insight on how to keep the marriage together. Well, Monica says, essentially, it takes strong family values. Couples have to establish healthy family traditions and live what they believe. For example, the family has to be put first and that may mean creating family vacations as well as weekend gt-aways for mommy and daddy. Cheryl added that no one should expect another individual to complete you. When you expect that, you set yourself and your marriage for failure. Monica chose to allow God to become her best friend and stopped expecting it from her husband. That brought up the topic of a woman being submissive to the husband. Biblical teachingis that the man should follow after god and when he does, it is then easy for the wife to be submissive. The man should love his wife the same way he does God and church. Kevin again explains that the marriage relationship is just like a work relationship. there has to be honesty, respect, worthiness, and intgrity, and God must be honored. Both persons in the marriage shouldlift each other up and even the children should be invovled in this type of unit. Monica commented that a person cannot act the fool simply because the spouse is. Cheryl was inspired to say that more men should follow God and listen to Him. Amen? Amen! It was discussed that what happens a lot is that folks have a lack of knowledge in a particular area. that contributes to a high divorce rate and the fact that men were never taught how to be good husbands and fathers. there should be a thirst for knwoeldge and a nderstanding, but we do not act in our roles. Kevin carried his father's image into his parenting of his three sons. Getting hair cuts, shaving, and how he relates to his wife are all modeled after his own father as he grew up. Kevin's father was a disciplined man and Kevin is passing that legacy to his own sons. It must start in the home, but many men just do not know this. Everyone has spiritual gifts so there is a need to understand and teach others within your sphere of influence. Amen? Amen! Itis agreed that when people know better, people can do better. It can be a difficult process understanding that because people come from varous environments with varous values, etc. However, we have to lead by example. How do yo build healthier relationships? There is some laughter as Monica shares that she always believed that old people had it down until she went to a marriage conference and it closely resembled an AAARP convention because of the sea of gray-haired attendees. That's when she had her epiphany that marriage is a journey of challenges that must be worked at. The truest weapon of defense becomes knowledge. We know that it does nt matter if you are famous or not, the same thing applies and children do look at how adults handle conflicts. Jewell agrees, but adds that her physically violent parents on one hand, and her intimate step-parents on the other hand, demonstrated to her that children need to see healthy arguments and affectionate making-up by the parents. Understanding, of course, that no one should stay in a physically violent marriage/relationship (uh-hm...see Black Love List if you are confused). This means that there is a reasonin some cases to indeed divorce, but each person should seek counsel from God on their own. Remember also that happiness is a state of mind. The joy of the Lord is your strength. Amen? Amen! There was revelation that men can be just as picky as women. The Lord will send your help-mate (uh-hm...Halleluia!) The Lord will send the right personto build a future with you and yo will know when that right person enters your life and vice versa. By the way, both Kevin and Cheryl are celebrating 15 years of marriage respectively. Amen? Amen! Welcome K.L.thewriter. KL testifies that once he got out of the way of the Lord, God's plan unfolded. He emphasizes that couples should study the word together andopen up conversations based on biblical teaching and understanding. What works best for KL is that he and his wife agreed that the bible would be the basis for solving all their disagreemtns. Simply put, the bible had the final say! Because of that agreement, KL and his wife are able to settle disputes without going to bed angry at each other. Amen? Amen! Keep God first KL repeats. Trust that God will speak to you and do nt allow other people to come between you. When a man has zeal for God, he wil follow the instructions of the bible and that answers the problem of AIDS/HIV and STD's. There should be a high degree of respect and the African-American family is not going to up and disappear due to this. No sex outside of/before marriage. Amen? Amen! We should not be afraid to involve our childrenin healthy discussions about the bible as well. Aake sure they understand scripture and tell them to tell their friends. KL says that he tells his son that a real man resists certain feelings and not the other way around! Cheryl asks a quick questions about the systematic destruction of the family based on the practice that a woman cannot have a welfare check if there is a manin the home. (uh-hm...that's still being done?). KL answers that we may still by into that maybe, but nt as much as how mothers don't (can't) show boys how to be men and especially if they are angry at the father and can't stand the chld because he looks just like his father. The bottom line is that the biblical teachings and values and morals must start at home. At this time, folks, we are goingto break and then discuss the issue of mental wellness in our community. Of course, we will pile into the Forum Discussion Room @ in...say...4 minutes... PLEASE JOIN IN THIS DISCUSSION BY VISITING: WWW.BLACKHISTORY365.NING.COM/PROFILES/sWAGGIEcOLEMAN; or EDC1CREATIONS.SQUARESPACE.COM 2008 http://swaggiecoleman.blogspot.com; www.blackplanet.com/SwaggieC

Well, suh - here we are on Night No. 20 of this grand black history event. On this occasion, we revisit the topic of literacy and the challenges our youth face educationally. Some of the issues discussed in our community continued to over-lap, but if you stuck with this group of concerned stakeholders, you learned that we actually put together a list of needed action. In other words, our list from the Black Love discussions has grown and we're making progress. Of course, it is going to take a co-hesive effort to employ these measures and when we re-convene during Black History 365 in February 2009, we should be able to statistically measure progress. Amen? Amen! Now, the evening got started with some information about one of my all-time favorite authors, Ms. Toni Morrison. Ms. Morrison is a Pulitzer and Nobel Prize Literary Award Winner! Our Royal Ella Curry is under the weather so let's send a little love her way and get started (uh-hmm) with Ms. Rosalynn West sharing some words about Ms. Morrison. Unfortunately, I joined a little late because I lost track of time when suddenly I got this call from my boss requesting to meet with me Friday morning (uh-hm). So, I thought it best to get as much coverage before that meeting just in case (uh-hm). Anyway, I joined the discussion about the time information was being shared about Joshua A. McClure and his book, "Almost Persuaded." What I learned is that if you want to know what spirituality really looks like, it is the fire burning in your heart to experience what God has purposed for you to do! Amen? Amen! The wonderful thing about these discussions, is that you can download the podcast recording and get the complete message on what I missed but you won't know what I'm wearing (uh-hm). So, Mrs. Cheryl Donovan, Author of, "Women, What The Hell Were You Thinking?" hosted the discussion. The night began with a clear and agreed upon definition of "Literacy" according to Wikipedia: Literacy From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The traditional definition of literacy is considered to be the ability to read and write, or the ability to use language to read, write, listen, and speak. In modern contexts, the word refers to reading and writing at a level adequate for communication, or at a level that lets one understand and communicate ideas in a literate society, so as to take part in that society. The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has drafted the following definition: "Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate and compute, using printed and written materials associated with varying contexts. Literacy involves a continuum of learning to enable an individual to achieve his or her goals, to develop his or her knowledge and potential, and to participate fully in the wider society." In full agreement with that definition are distinguished guests: Cheryl Donovan, Speaker and Author of "Women, What The Hell Were You Thinking?;"Stephanie Worth, Author of "Where Souls Collide;" Dwight Fryer, Author of "The Legend of Quito Road" and "The Knees of Gullah Island;" Sheila Lipsey, Author of "Into Each Life" and the upcoming release, "My Son's Wife;" Donna Hill, Author of "On The Line" and "Sex and Lies;" Shaun Mathis, Author of "This Hurts;" K.L. The Writer, Author of the upcoming release, "Men In Transition;" Shamontiel L. Vaughn, Author of "Change For A Dollar" and "Round Trip;" and Dr. Nioma Williams, Psychologist and Author of seven books including: "The Journey," "Detective Fiction," and her dissertation, "Black Poetic Feminism: The Imagination of Toi Derricotte;" Honorable Mention Guest O. Ajamu Jumal, Author "Spiritual Shackles;" and yours truly, Swaggie Coleman. Following the discussion, you will find website links for each guest. NOTE: The most beautiful thing about this discussion is the bond of Black Love between these guests. This was the first discussion where everybody, EVERYBODY exchanged contact information to stay in touch and spread the word! Won't you come join us .? Tonight's attire: mudcloth print kaftan and spiced apple rooibus tea. Background music: Kirk Franklin's 'Declaration' (This Is It stand up and fight for your miracle). Alrighty then, because the night was open to favorite quotes by African-Americans, I will share with you that one of my favorite quotes is by James Baldwin: "The world is before you and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in." WARNING: PARENTS YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME MORE ACCOUNTABLE! TEACHERS: YOU WILL NEED TO HELP MAKE PARENTS BECOME MORE ACCOUNTABLE! With that in mind, we are going to skip on over to the Forum Hall (www.blackhistory365.com/profiles/SwaggieColeman) and come up with some solutions for improving literacy and our youth. 2008 All Rights Reserved. COULD THERE ACTUALLY BE A 'WHAT-TO-DO AND HOW-TO-DO' SOLUTION TO THE ISSUES CRIPPLING OUR AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY (Literacy, HIV/STDs, Domestic Abuse, etc.)? JOIN today's popular black authors discuss these issues!!!! Take part in improving our global presence starting in the home with our children. We can all work together to uplift our community. How can you learn more about what to do? How can you read about all the discussions going on during this historical black history month online event? Is it too late for you to join in? Where can you go on one site and actually dialogue with various authors of various genres? You can do this by clicking the links below: Visit me at www.blackhistory365.com/profiles/SwaggieColeman; www.edc1creations.squarespace.com; TELL YOUR FRIENDS and CO-WORKERS--visit through Feb. 29-phone lines open at 8pm at 1-646-200-0402; chat rooms open same time at www.edc1creations.squarespace.com

DISCLAIMER: There are none this evening. I take full responsibility for the entire contents of this discussion. Thank you, ladies! I was so skurd we would not be represented as well as the gentlemen on Black Love Day. Imagine an island of just black men - no females allowed! Now, I already got an e-mail from my boss stating that she told me to cover the phones, not phone chats - uh-oh! So, y'all just don't know how good I feel about being able to get this discussion posted before packing my brown box. Has anybody ever done that? I mean you are just so sure you will be fired so you pack your brown box and stick it under your desk or take stuff home little by little so you don't have to pack a box so you can just walk out of the office feeling as little humiliation as possible when you are fired? I have done that so many times. Like, one day oh, ok where were we? (uh-hm). Because of the nature of tonight's discussion, I encourage household participation wherever teens reside. I have on my favorite kaftan this evening; an Egyptian print of gold, black, and cream. For folks who want to know what's up with the kaftans, they are so comfortable and unrestrictive to work in. I wear them whenever I work from home, but when I go into the office, it's a different story. Ok I ran out of mango rooibus tea so tonight I'm sipping spiced apple rooibus tea. Okay, let's get rolling This evening's distinguished guests are: Royal Host Ella Curry of EDC Creations; Mary Morrison, Author of "Sweeter Than Honey;" Sanya Hayes, Author of "Urban Goddess;" Cheryle Donovan, Author of "Women, What The Hell Were You Thinking?;" Samara King, Author of "Wild Impulses;" LaConnie Taylor Jones, Author of "When I'm With You;" and yours truly, Professional Blogger, Swaggie Coleman. In a very candid and dignified manner, these women cover a lot of ground in talking about the serious issue affecting the women, children, and men in our community. The evening was replete with strategies to problem solve the social ill creating emotional, spiritual, and physical damage over the long term. What subtly emerges are methods of healing and personal growth that we desperately need. Until we heal, progress will be forever stifled. I say that because when we do not heal completely, we carry those hurts into the next generation the same way we carry them into the next relationship. So what is this social ill? Answer: Domestic Violence. Our Host opened the discussion by asking how to recognize domestic violence? What are the signs and how do we address it as a community? Mrs. Jones, who is also a professional counselor for victims of domestic violence, stated that there is absolutely nothing healthy about abuse first of all. Regardless of the form of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual) and regardless of what sex is being abused, it is injurious to the family, community, and race. Now, this issue with domestic violence has been around a very long time. Why are men still resorting to this negative behavior? Why are women still allowing this situation to occur? Mrs. Donovan answers as well. She will be speaking on this topic in an upcoming conference in May 2008 ("Meeting Challenges And Making Changes" which will be held in Virginia at the end of the Forum Discussion, you will find each Author's website information. Please visit these sites to learn more about this conference, books, speaking engagements, etc. of tonight's guests). She explains that people (women) must take responsibility for their relationships. People must allow themselves to deal with the reality of the situation and don't teach people to hurt you. As I understand it, that means altering your behavior through empowerment. How do you empower yourself against an abusive person who keeps the roof over your head and food in your children's mouth? As a survivor of domestic abuse, Ms. King offered some logical feedback on taking control back and ending the relationship. Can a victim find the needed help in order to accomplish this? What should a model of "help" look like? Well, as this very interesting and necessary topic was laid out on the table, the model became more and more obvious. While it may not be totally conclusive, at least it is a starting point towards solving the problem. What's necessary, however, is commitment from members of our community to change our thinking and acceptance of domestic violence. Hopefully, by the end of the Forum Discussion, you will become a stakeholder in curing this ill in our community (or get off the island, too uh-hm). Because of the in-depth discussion and model, and it covers the whole gamut including sex, let's go on over to the official Forum Discussion room and get comfortable. I'll meet everyone over there in let's say, ten minutes. HYPERLINK "http://swaggiecoleman.blogspot.com" http://swaggiecoleman.blogspot.com PLEASE JOIN THE DISCUSSIONS OF BLACK LOVE BY THE LADIES BY visiting my Forum Discussions at: www.blackhistory365.ning.com/swaggie; OR www.edc1creations.squarespace.com. Learn what the ladies have to say about Domestic Violence and Teen Sex!

BLACK LOVE II ENDS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DISCLAIMER: There are none this evening. I take full responsibility for the entire contents of this discussion. Thank you, ladies! I was so skurd we would not be represented as well as the gentlemen on Black Love Day. Imagine an island of just black men - no females allowed! Now, I already got an e-mail from my boss stating that she told me to cover the phones, not phone chats - uh-oh! So, y'all just don't know how good I feel about being able to get this discussion posted before packing my brown box. Has anybody ever done that? I mean you are just so sure you will be fired so you pack your brown box and stick it under your desk or take stuff home little by little so you don't have to pack a box so you can just walk out of the office feeling as little humiliation as possible when you are fired? I have done that so many times. Like, one day oh, ok where were we? (uh-hm). Because of the nature of tonight's discussion, I encourage household participation wherever teens reside. I have on my favorite kaftan this evening; an Egyptian print of gold, black, and cream. For folks who want to know what's up with the kaftans, they are so comfortable and unrestrictive to work in. I wear them whenever I work from home, but when I go into the office, it's a different story. Ok I ran out of mango rooibus tea so tonight I'm sipping spiced apple rooibus tea. Okay, let's get rolling This evening's distinguished guests are: Royal Host Ella Curry of EDC Creations; Mary Morrison, Author of "Sweeter Than Honey;" Sanya Hayes, Author of "Urban Goddess;" Cheryle Donovan, Author of "Women, What The Hell Were You Thinking?;" Samara King, Author of "Wild Impulses;" LaConnie Taylor Jones, Author of "When I'm With You;" and yours truly, Professional Blogger, Swaggie Coleman. In a very candid and dignified manner, these women cover a lot of ground in talking about the serious issue affecting the women, children, and men in our community. The evening was replete with strategies to problem solve the social ill creating emotional, spiritual, and physical damage over the long term. What subtly emerges are methods of healing and personal growth that we desperately need. Until we heal, progress will be forever stifled. I say that because when we do not heal completely, we carry those hurts into the next generation the same way we carry them into the next relationship. So what is this social ill? Answer: Domestic Violence. Our Host opened the discussion by asking how to recognize domestic violence? What are the signs and how do we address it as a community? Mrs. Jones, who is also a professional counselor for victims of domestic violence, stated that there is absolutely nothing healthy about abuse first of all. Regardless of the form of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual) and regardless of what sex is being abused, it is injurious to the family, community, and race. Now, this issue with domestic violence has been around a very long time. Why are men still resorting to this negative behavior? Why are women still allowing this situation to occur? Mrs. Donovan answers as well. She will be speaking on this topic in an upcoming conference in May 2008 ("Meeting Challenges And Making Changes" which will be held in Virginia at the end of the Forum Discussion, you will find each Author's website information. Please visit these sites to learn more about this conference, books, speaking engagements, etc. of tonight's guests). She explains that people (women) must take responsibility for their relationships. People must allow themselves to deal with the reality of the situation and don't teach people to hurt you. As I understand it, that means altering your behavior through empowerment. How do you empower yourself against an abusive person who keeps the roof over your head and food in your children's mouth? As a survivor of domestic abuse, Ms. King offered some logical feedback on taking control back and ending the relationship. Can a victim find the needed help in order to accomplish this? What should a model of "help" look like? Well, as this very interesting and necessary topic was laid out on the table, the model became more and more obvious. While it may not be totally conclusive, at least it is a starting point towards solving the problem. What's necessary, however, is commitment from members of our community to change our thinking and acceptance of domestic violence. Hopefully, by the end of the Forum Discussion, you will become a stakeholder in curing this ill in our community (or get off the island, too uh-hm). Because of the in-depth discussion and model, and it covers the whole gamut including sex, let's go on over to the official Forum Discussion room and get comfortable. I'll meet everyone over there in let's say, ten minutes. 2008 All Rights Reserved JOIN the discussion at www.edc1creations.squarespace.com; www.blackhistory365.ning.com