Blu_Diamond7's Blog

I am so tired of all the gamez & false pretensez... flowered wordz & good intensionz all amounting to unsolicited bullshit... did I ask for that? I said unsolicited right?... so no, I don't think so. When and where does honesty & true love play a part? Does it exist? I know it does somewhere. Why must there alwayz be that "Wow, I didn't see that comin'! let me get this steel- toed boot outta my azz..." clause?? Why does it seem like the harder & deeper you love, that it'z not returned that much more? Iz it us ladies? Iz it our men? Just who the hell iz it?? Maybe it'z both... hmmmmm I notice that we often want all of what/who iz not attainable to us at the moment... & what/who iz attainable at the time, we don't want at all. Interesting. I'm just sayin... that whole scenario iz just plain tired, old & in need of a courtesy flush... if you know what I mean. Now don't get it twisted, I am not a bitter, angry black woman, got no time for that... just a very observant one who'z notably tired, and a little frustrated... & I know that there are some of you out there that feel the same way... admit it! lol Now I consider myself an intelligent, black female, I can spot game from 10 milez away... then there iz that "benefit of the doubt" thing... and also that "the heart lovez who the heart lovez" thing that messes with your logic & your first mind, and there you have it... the scenario. So the question iz, what to do about it? How to avoid it, or for those who decide to stay in it, how to deal with it? (I mean let'z face it, some of us are stuck in the same cycle, quit playin... be honest!) I think it all amountz to learnin' how to love ourselvez... if we know how to do that, then we're not az likely to let otherz "mis" love us, if there iz such a word or a term, (well there'z one now dammit! lol) Validation won't come through another, and if you've found that right one made just for you, "assurance" becomez the word & not "validation"... make sense? Well, I'm done, my little vent iz over lol... hit me back with your insight though, would love to hear your thoughtz! Peace & Blessingz Planet!

What makes... the heart still beat, like the heart still beats while... taking a beating to the emotions? those feelings that border explosion kept quiet threaten implosion and... become mixed up metaphors spilled out like guts... somehow tryin to maintain while... struggling to appear sane inspite of the craziness of reality... Now... to put that simply: The bull %#&@$! in this world... twists & twirlz like curlz corkscrewing through mindsets and let's not forget changes lives... some for bad... some... for good and though I should stand up & applaude the latter I don't... not to say that I won't... but life... ain't alwayz fair especially when u look at who, how, and just what got u there... THERE... to that point of... Searching for horizons and missing sunsets because ur mind iz heavy with regrets and eyez too heavy to forget not to sleep through depression... trying desperately to forget the succession of the situation that iz obviously set on "repeat"... determined not to accept defeat yet constantly pickin' yourself up off the ground... see because... in this life I have found... that it IZ "dog eat dog" whether you like animals or not and... actions & consequences go together like "dot 2 dots" and... we are STILL expected to want to live... want to love... want to forgive... seems like a paradox to me but I have learned and am learning to believe in what I DON'T see cause what I do see at times... iz tryin to kill me and I'm... NOT goin out like that (C)Blu_Diamond7

Im sitting here wonderin' why, if at all I should write my feelingz down here... I mean what doez it actually do? I thought about this for a moment & one viewpoint I came up with was, that at timez, people like to know that other people are capable of feelin' the same way that they do... (I know that can be the case with me sometimez lol) and there iz a sense of "I guess I'm alright becauze of..." A very human thing & a form of validation in feelingz so to speak, which can be beneficial. It'z been a minute since I've put anything down on here anyway, so I figure it'z time. Seemz there'z somethin in the air these dayz... alot of changez occurring... in politics, economic matterz, weather conditionz... any number of thingz. Now although these thingz are happening, we have the choice of how exactly we want to view it all. On a positive note, one viewpoint that I have, iz that our President iz phenomenal and I'm very proud of him & that! The economic matterz... we have a hand in them, a choice to be wize with what we do have, and work on the solutionz to get what we don't. Weather... well, what can I say but grab an umbrella, coat, or just put it all away, and that will account for Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday... And the "any number of thingz" part of the equation... we're on our own with having so many different scenarios in our individual livez. So basically, in a nutshell it'z all in the way we choose to handle, or not handle whatz being handed to us these dayz... or we can simply make the choice to grab, or not to grab... all in all, that'z what it comez down to... choice. So choose wizely! Peace!