863highlyfavored74's Blog

Tears fallen like a waterfall as her heartbeats hard and breathe feels heavy. Whats your name my dear angel? As she slowly look up she reply Rain. Why is that? Rain is for the life I have lived and the life im living. The only ounce of love ive ever had has been shed in tears like rain drops. Just when I think the Storm is over, the rain begans. All my life ive seeked nothing but love for I have so much to share. Ive tried searching in every corner of life and walked many paths but only to return to my undesired mate Storm. I can not seem to avade him for he finds me no matter where I travel. Sunshine is so far away it seems to not exist. Nothing in my past has light but only known as a black cloud called Pain. Because I am Rain sunshine runs from me. Leaving me behind. Alone in darkness.I began in this world with rain drops fallen from my face as I opened my eyes for the first time. Ive shed rain til this very day. And when I close my eyes for the last time I fear it will be Rain in a Storm, for Sunshine has desserted me. And those who ask what was my name, will only remember me as the lost unloved angel named Rain,.

One day it will happen for me
The loneliness will end and the smiles will begin.
One day it will happen for me
The salt water tears that usually invade my eyes will be defeated
by a fulfilled heart causing my cheeks to rise
I've spent a lifetime of hurt, deceit and pain
Any hopes of sunshine has always been my rain
One day it will happen for me
My king will soon arrive
giving me nothing but happiness,loyalty,love for the rest of my life
One day it will happen for me
I will know love and love will know me.
No more broken promises no more one days
because my one day WILL BE TODAY.

by Kimberly B.

People ask me what I want. All i can say first is "To Be Happy".
I want to be happy in life in each avenue in my life.
1). I want to be pleasing to the Lords eye first and for more. I find my love for the Lord the most important thing to me. I don't want to disappoint him so I try to be a better person everyday but I have imperfections and weaknesses that he and I discuss.

2). I want to be a great wife and mother. Although i'm not married yet I plain to be the best wife possible and compliment my husband in such a manner he knows he is truly loved and appreciated as a man. I will keep God in my marriage and with that it will not fail. And as for being a mother, my children will always know i am there for them to love nurture teach and help them grow as good human being with christian values and good morals.

3). I want to find something i am happy doing. Whether its opening up my own all inclusive wedding chapel, to missionary work, or wedding photography. I want to be a successful business owner.

4). I want to make a difference. I want to touch lives and hearts. I want to influence the lost to seek God so they can find the kingdom of heaven. I want to give people hope.

5). I don't want to give up.....

Where are you, my knight and shining armour? Where are you the man of my dreams? Where are you my soul mate? Where are you the love of my life? I'm just a down to earth woman seeking that other half who completes me and i he. I want a God fearing man who will treat me accordinging to the biblical standards. (My Friend-my lover-my husband)all in one. One who who focuses more on my inner beauty but also acknowledges my outer. I want that special guy I can share my secrets with but not just my secrets but also my life. I want a man who can put a smile on my face. I want my mate who we can share laughs, and crys and get through it all together. I want a man who can talk to me about anything and i he. A man who is patient with my flaws and treats me with an understanding heart. I want a man who has strong family values and good moral beliefs and strives to do the right things. A man to help me grow into who God intended me to be. A protector and a provider for his family. I'm looking for the one who is strong, a fighter, a warrior for life. I'm not talking about an abuser (because he must be gentle), for those who don't get my drift. I'm talking about a man who believe and wants something so bad he stand up for it. One who don't give up easy in fact (if the cause is right) don't give up. Someone who loves with every being of his heart and shows the goodness of his soul. I want a man full of passion and romance. A man who is witty, patient, intelligent and kind. I want a man who is true and honest without confusion in his head. But ONLY sincerety of the feelings of his heart. A man who can let go past pains and allow me to fill him up with healings. Someone who recognize me his queen instantly and hold on tight and secure himself with me. Standing firm on love and forever and happiness. A man who follows his heart without hesitation and doubt when its him and I. A man who recognize love is not silent about it but acts on it. A man who trust me with his heart and allows me to do the same. A man who does not procrastinate. Tomorrow is not promised to man/woman. In saying that I mean, if any of you find that special person in your life make the most of it. Don't let it slip away. Go for happiness and trust and believe that God is guiding the wheel. Don't put up road blocks to your own happiness. Im not looking for perfection in no one because to error is human we fall short of perfection. But i am looking for the man that is perfectly matched and yoked to be apart of my life for eternity.

When is the appropriate time to start dating after a failed relationship?

I was hanging out a local bar with some of my white associates a while back. We were meeting up for karaoke . I had never been to this place before. I rode with a friend because i am usually the designated driver. Well i walked in with him and the rest of the gang had not made it yet. Late as usual. Well as we sat at the bar i noticed how peoples eyes kept searching me. I brushed it off and tried to enjoy the band. Well first these two ladies sat next to me. I figured they had to much to drink because they kept giggling. Well one of the ladies reached around me twice. As she went the third time i scooted my stool. She then proceed to say to me." excuse me i hope you don't take this the wrong way since i seem to put my foot in my mouth sometimes but i just wanted to say your skin color is beautiful." I could take this as a compliment right. Well i would have if she didn't get back in her seat look at her friend and historically start laughing. ******Then 2 minutes later this drunk redneck starts talking to my friend saying man thats your girl? He said, no that's my friend. Then he ask, well you ever been with a black chic. He goes yes. Then he proceeds to what its like man. He says the same as being with a white chic. Then he started with this conversation about him having black neighbors and the police had to keep watching the house. He said one day alot of cars was in the yard so the police kick the door in. He started laughing saying to bad they didn't have no dope. He said they were bar b quing. Then he start talking about black people cooking dinner selling it on the side of the dirt roads. ******Everything he was saying was black this black that....Then i noticed the head bartender kept staring at me. Not once did he ask my order. The waitress addressed my friend when she took orders. He had to order a drink for me. At that time I called it a night. Apparently i was offering my money and presence at a place that didn't deserve it.