sheeri_mitchell's Blog

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

This week’s unwarranted attack on the soldiers at Fort Hood helps us to remember that those people who serve our nation in the armed forces are just that – people. Whether you are a pacifist or not, whether you agree with the war in Iraq or not, whether you support our current President (or his predecessor) or not, you can agree with the rest of the nation that the tragedy at Fort Hood was a vile, evil act. It serves as a reminder to us that our enemy is not necessarily foreign, non-English speaking, nor a stranger to us. His mission has been the same since he fell “like lightening” from heaven. His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. If he is speaking, he is lying, because lying is his native tongue. He is crafty and smooth. He knows how to poke at the tender, wounded places in your soul in order to draw you into his plan.

Don’t fall for it. One way he gains victory over us is to make us accusers of one another. He preys upon our fears and insecurities to get us to place blame where it does not lie. In short, he turns people against each other, in attempt to convince us that we are at war with each other – instead of against him. Let he who has ears hear this message.

Nidal Hasan, the man who committed the grisly acts at Fort Hood was a man, like many others. He had a family, who loved him and who valued him. No doubt he loved them in return. He was committed to his god as he understood him. He acted in concert with those beliefs as any disciple would. Simply because he was a recent convert to Islam, who opposed the war in Iraq, don’t assume that he was the enemy.

To focus your righteous anger upon him makes about as much sense as kicking a horse for jumping your fence, while ignoring the rider. Just as a rider directs his horse, Nidal Hasan was driven. If you question the nature of the spirit that led him, all you have to do is examine the end result of his actions. Murder, death, mayhem, confusion, grief, and shame. Was he responsible for his actions? Absolutely. Did he choose to pick up a weapon and cut down 12 people and wound 31 others? He most certainly did. But don’t sleep. He, like the many who use slaughter to accomplish their purpose, was deceived. The nature of the spirit behind his actions was evil – is Evil itself.

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I have always believed that an honest question deserves an honest, age-appropriate answer. So when my 7-year-old daughter asked me if I was still a virgin when I married her father, I cringed.

This is what happens when you teach your children to study the bible and they learn about things like the virgin-birth and God’s plan for marriage. If I sound flippant, trust me, I am not. I was very grieved to have to explain to my daughter that I had been sexually active before I married her father 14 years ago. At age 7, she does not understand the particulars of sex, but she does know that God created it for a man and woman to enjoy once they are married to each other. Her father and I have taught her and her siblings a simple phrase to help them to remember God’s perspective on sex and relationships: “No ring-y, no ding-y. No walk-y, no talk-y.” In other words as far as God is concerned, if there is no marriage, there is to be no sex. If ol’ boy or ol’ girl is not walking with the Lord, a serious relationship is not a good look.

I expected that the question about my virginity would come up – just not so soon. I had not, however, expected the response that I got to my confession. My daughter cried. I mean she boo-hoo-ed. “Oh Mommy,” was all she could choke out between sobs. And then to my surprise, she hugged me. As much as her tears of pain added to my grief, they also helped me. At 7 years of age, she already understands that her body belongs to God and that her purity is precious. Heartache and tears are the proper response to sin. But so are love and compassion for the sinner.

When she had finished crying and had wiped her eyes, she looked at me directly and asked, “Why?” I wanted to give her an answer that defended my choices, that explained the lies about “sexual freedom” that I had bought into, that made me appear more victimized than responsible…but in the end, all I could tell her was “Because I was stupid, Honey.” And that was the truth.

I did not get the same education about sex, and God’s perspective on it that I have tried to provide for the young people I have mentored, or for my own children. As a teenager, I did not have anyone other than my peers that I felt comfortable enough to go to for advice about boys and birth control. By my freshman year of college, my faith had not matured much past that of the third grade when Sister Benjamin had been my religion teacher. I knew many rules, but few principles. But even with all that I did not know, I knew enough. I knew and was convinced that unmarried sex was wrong.

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Romans 14:1 (The Message)

“Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.”

Halloween is one of those practices that falls into a gray area for many believers. Some people don’t give the holiday much thought either way. Some go all out to celebrate it. Still others avoid it altogether. As members of the body, it is much more important to focus on what we have in common versus where we differ. The truth is, apart from the basic non-negotiables of our faith: the Triune Godhead (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), the virgin birth, the fully human yet fully divine God-man, Jesus Christ, (who physically came to earth, physically died on the cross (atoning for all of humanity’s sins in the process), who physically rose from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit, who bodily ascended to heaven of his own volition, who is seated at the Father’s right hand, and who will physically return to judge the living and the dead), salvation by grace alone, the resurrection of the dead in Christ, and a conscious awareness of every soul after death either in heaven or in hell, our opinions about many issues – particularly as they relate to the culture at large are just that – opinions. Because we agree on the most important matter, the person of Jesus Christ, we can disagree on those things that the bible doesn’t speak to directly as sin. The celebration of Halloween is one of those “things.”

Whether you see the holiday as a dangerous pagan practice, infecting young people with an affinity for the occult, or as a light-hearted, fun holiday for the young-at-heart, the most important thing is that you do not judge, condemn or hold another’s viewpoint against him. People who celebrate Halloween get why it is fun. But often do not understand why others would object to the holiday. Below are a few reasons that I have uncovered as to why some believers do not celebrate Halloween.

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Proverbs 15:1-2 (New International Version)

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

I have always been a person who speaks her mind. In my teens and twenties, my mouth often led me into trouble that I should have avoided. As I have grown in the Lord’s wisdom, I have learned how to speak the truth in love, when it is necessary. I have not perfected doing so (nor will I ever on this side of heaven), but I have come a long way from my tactless, crass earlier years. One of the tidbits of wisdom that has helped me is a principle that a pastor, who used to disciple my husband, taught us sometime around our fifth anniversary. It’s called the “One Fool At A Time” Rule. It is so simple, it’s almost scary. It is this: In any given exchange between two or more people, if one person is “actin’ a fool,” you can’t act one, too. Isn’t that simple? Now I will be the first to tell you that many of the principles I learn from God’s word are easy to understand, but difficult to apply. For some reason, the “One Fool” rule makes it easier for me to apply the above scripture to whatever situation in which I find myself.

A few years back I had been circling a crowded parking lot, at a neighborhood grocery store, searching for a spot near the entrance. When I spotted a woman getting into her car, I pulled up and waited. The woman took a good while (in parking lot time) to settle in and start her engine. Then she took even longer to back out. While I sat staring at her brake lights, waiting for them to turn from red to white, another car pulled up from the opposite direction for the same spot. I’ve been driving long enough to know what was happening. The other driver, ignoring my signal, intended to take the spot I had been waiting for. Immediately I tensed up, sat forward and positioned myself to scoop the spot as soon as it was free. Thankfully, the driver of the car leaving the spot backed out toward me, preventing the other driver from swooping in. She left me plenty of room to pull in while she blocked the other driver. It seemed she had observed that I had been waiting and positioned herself to help me out. At least that’s how I chose to read her actions. For all I know, she could have dropped her cell phone or paused while having a timely “senior moment.” Honestly, I still don’t know. And at the time, I did not care. I got what I wanted. I got my spot. The other driver was wrong to try to “steal my spot” anyway. I expected that she would not be happy, but such is life. She tried a power move in the parking lot and failed. C’est la vie!

Satisfied with myself, I popped out of the car, wallet and list in hand, ready to do my marketing. At no time could I have foreseen what was about to happen. Just as my heel touched down on the electronic sensors that trigger the automatic door, a barrage of the foulest curse words reached my ears. I turned around to see who was having a fight in the parking lot only to spot the other driver (the one who had “missed” my spot), stomping across the parking lot, squeezing the hand of a hapless, disheveled little girl. The child, struggling to keep pace with the gait of this “lady” (and I am using the term quite loosely here), alternately stumbled and righted herself in the few moments it took her handler to cross the lot into the store. I was so focused on the little girl, who quite frankly looked as embarrassed as I felt, that I nearly missed the creatively-strung-together verbal abuse that tumbled out of the mouth of the woman who drug the child into the store.

It was clear that this woman had much to say and she that intended to say it to me. To read more, click here.

Watching one of my new favorite shows, which revolves around high-schoolers (my term for adult actors who portray teens on T.V.), on the CW (I know, which one doesn’t?), I was reminded of the criteria for “hooking up.” There isn’t any – not really. If (s)he is cute “enough” and willing, it’s a perfect match made: here on earth, for: as long as it lasts. The attitude is that as long as both people consent, what’s the big deal? Nobody gets hurt. Everybody leaves happy and satisfied, right? Ummm -let’s examine that.

Whenever the conversation steers around to biblical morality, folks get nervous because they think all they’re gonna hear about is what they can’t do and condemnation for what they’ve already done, or are in the habit of doing. But I’m here to encourage you to consider looking at “hooking up” from a different perspective. Instead of asking why we shouldn’t, let’s ask “Why should we hook-up?”

Before continuing, let’s define the term. To “hook up” with someone is to encounter them sexually on some level. At its most “benign” hooking up is tongue-kissing and heavy petting (i.e. groping). In the instances where alcohol is involved, I prefer to call it “drunken fumbling.” No part of the body is off limits to wandering, prying, poking, prodding hands and fingers, and/or darting tongues. At its most extreme, hooking up involves, but is not limited to, penetration. Anal, oral, vaginal insertion of the penis or another object for mutual satisfaction is usually the focus of the encounter.

Now that we’re clear on what hooking up is, let’s examine why we should do it.

Hooking up is exciting.

To spot someone you find attractive and set about getting close to that person as a means of sexual conquest can be an entertaining and engaging endeavor. One of the benefits is that a long-term commitment is neither required nor necessarily expected. So a person is free to satiate a natural urge without having to expend the energy required to sustain a relationship or (depending upon the people involved) a conversation. It’s as easy to understand as the concept behind fast-food restaurants. Drive up, grab what you want, fill up, move on. Although hook-ups can often serve as the introduction to longer term relationships, the name itself explains the point. Hook ups are temporary. You hook up. You unhook. You get on with your life.

I know and have known over the years several men and women who conduct their entire dating lives this way. Some have “broken down” and gotten married as a last resort to ending up alone, once they got older. Some are determined to maintain their bachelor or bachelorette status – maintaining that the freedom they experience is worth it. Almost every one of the people I know who have pursued a hook up lifestyle, however, have at some point confessed to just feeling tired. For some of them, there came a point when hooking up was not enough anymore. Their hearts desired more than a temporary fix could provide. While their souls ached to belong to and to be accepted by someone, their physical encounters prevented just that. While hook ups can be convenient, like fast food, building a life around them can lead to long term problems and possibly death. But if you are not a spiritual person and figure that you may as well die happy, then you might not be like any of the folks I know, and growing tired of the repetition might not be something you’ll ever encounter.

Hooking up is an easy short cut to physical intimacy.

At least for the few moments that the people involved come together (no pun intended) there exists a semblance of closeness. Body to body, heartbeat to heartbeat, warm skin to warm skin, gives two people a glimpse of something profound and beautiful. The fact that what they experience is a counterfeit of true love is besides the point. To read more, click here