Jamaree_89's Blog

There seems to be a misconception when it comes to me and my views on relationships. True, I have stated that dating outside my race is something I would love to do eventually. Another truth is, all my life I've been rejected by African American females. However, I'm well aware that there are treasures in every race. The problem is I have developed standards for myself when it comes to dealing with people especially females. If a female is one who drinks, smokes, clubs & parties, non-educated, independent, non judgmental, and is stuck-up then I defiantly don't deal with them. I hate the pretty girl types because to me they are the most likely to cheat and do guys dirty. It's a known fact that if you are used to attention and getting whatever you like out of a person then you won't respect anybody. You'll take advantage of people. They'll more than likely equal to gold diggers. I like the females who guys pay no attention to. The ones guys take for granted. I'm one of the realest guys. So I tend to notice these females. Like me, they don't stand out in a crowd. They basically don't have to do anything that degrades them for attention. They are most likely found studying, going to church or working hard to make a living. They're clothing is appropriate. Nothing is showing or hanging out. Even if they do have looks, they aren't falling for the cat calls and whistles guys throw at them. These women are appreciative and don't ask for nothing at all. You could do the simplest thing and she's happy. That's the type of woman I would like. The thing bothers me is the whole romance factor. I could be a romantic guy but as a far as sex goes I don't believe in it. According to most, that particular aspect is needed in a relationship. The real women save themselves for marriage but even still I wish there was a woman who shared my belief. A relationship in my eyes is based around friendship, truth, loyalty, the simple things and most of all the definition of love. I truly don't see why sexual activity would have anything to do with proving your love. Sex to my knowledge only causes issues in your relationship. I wish somebody would explain that whole thing to me. Truthfully, I don't know how it would be difference with the variations in races. I truly don't believe females from other races would judge things on the harsh level that my race does. If I did have sex with a female, I don't want to feel like I'm being rated or that I have to prove something to my gf/wife. Black females love dissing guys when it comes to sex and the size of his "package". Whenever I've heard that, I always wondered what gave females the right to judge that particular aspect. Like a guy can really determine what GOD provide him with. That is just the dumbest thing ever to me. Seriously speaking, I mean black females have been known to judge things like they have world knowledge of situations. Like guys can change how they look, they can change what life wasn't able to provide them and things like that. What bothers me is other races are always open and nice to everybody regardless. Some may value looks and whatever else but it's less of that going on. I can sit around the college I attend and actually have a conversation with other races without that female atomically assuming that I'm trying to get with them or a phone number. Real talk you get tired of black females grouping guys in a category and saying because you're a dude, then this and that is supposed to happen. Yet they always turn around and say why can't I find a good man?? Or they upset when the black guys date outside of their race. The whole situation is dumb to me. You can't even mention that around a black woman without her getting upset. Truth hurts. Overall what I wish for is a world without viewing color. I don't want to separate females by race and truthfully there shouldn't a difference. I hate that it's like that. I don't understand it. I don't even understand how I can get in trouble for speaking my mind about the whole process.

We live in a world where there is less peace, and more violence. A world where racism is still alive but mostly hidden. People of your own kind will rarely be with you, they'll always be against you. It seems at times they would rather see you fail then to see you succeed. Well at least in the African American world that is. Isn't it sad how a person who doesn't even share your skin color supports you more than somebody who does share it? Isn't it crazy how the biggest killer of blacks is another black person? It's like the world has stereotypical everything. When a drug bust happens, people quickly say they must be black or a Mexican. When a sniper is on the loose or fraud and tax evasion, people say that's defiantly a Caucasian person. People being cautious on the planes because of the events of 9/11 which means it's hard to be from Pakistan. That Taliban guy can be nicest person we know but yet life for him will never be easy anymore. Whose world is it really? Is it the Caucasian's, the black's, a man or even a woman? I personally always thought it was GOD property but if you let my fellow American's tell it, men rule the world. Funny though how a man such as myself was brought up around women and yet I am one of the more real men in the world. Yet at the same time, men such as me are always the ones being brought down and spit upon. People like to laugh and make jokes when they see me reading books studying hard. When I know the answers the teacher is asking during class. The females trust to say, I want a real man and most men are dogs. Yet their biggest concern and standards when it comes to a man is looks, financial status and sex. The interesting thing being that's mostly the African American females and a portion of the Caucasian. You wonder the ebony queens don't have ebony kings? Why their good "brothas" stray to other races? Because those same ebony queens always settle for guys that have less value. I come from a African American woman so on my part there is no disrespect. However, she'll be the first to say my son is more likely to end up with a woman outside of his race. That's coming from a strong black woman. Nobody really wants to see interracial relationships. Nobody really wants to see their race date or marry another. I'm not scared to admit though that I would mostly date someone outside my race rather than a person in my race. In that particular case, it's a matter of understanding why and how I came to feel that way rather saying oh your racist against your own kind. You get tired of going after women and hearing your not good enough. Or not even getting a chance at all to prove yourself but yet a none deserving guy does get a chance because of his looks. That's how we end up so many daddy less children in the world Everyday you hear a so called sad tale of women getting pregnant and children growing up without fathers. I feel sorry for nobody because sex appears to be on top of lists nationwide. People desire the experience. To be with the in crowd. Each yr the age for pregnant females becomes younger and younger. Sad, pathetic and all of the above. However, that's their life not mine. Truthfully it should start with the parents and who people see as role models. If there is no positive influence then I guess a lot of people will never grow up in a mature manner. Speaking of role models, I hear a lot of people classify the so called "black" president, celebrities and drug dealers/wannabe thugs as their inspiration. I got nothing against Obama. However, for him to be labeled black is beyond me. Yes, a part of him is indeed African American but there is another part of him that is Caucasian which in turn makes him bi-racial. I believe people got so caught up that they ignored the facts. Their only concern was making history. I don't even think people paid attention to his views and what he was bringing to America. All they saw was skin color. Now I'm hearing females say I want a real man like Barack. So just because he ran for president and won, he's a real man. A good role model, yes. A success story, yes. However, outside of Michelle Obama and his family who truly knows what type of man Obama is. Then there is the rappers people go crazy over. I know like hell they aren't considered role models. Then again I would expect that from people of my generation. They have no real morals or standards. It's all about the image and what sounds good. I've said before how females look rappers like T.I, Plies, and Lil Wayne like the greatest thing to walk the earth. Yet there is your ordinary guy going to school and working on a earning his degree. He is trying to make a honest living. He doesn't drink, smoke or anything of that nature. Goes to church. A type of guy who would take care of business in all aspects. A well rounded type of person. They don't get attention until it's too late. Oh no, women want you to be like the big money rappers. The one who says degrading things. Want you to be their bust it baby. The one who doesn't mind slapping you around and cheating while you sit around being Miss Faithful. Yet he does this because of love and in turn he doesn't mean it. He'll sex you good every time you want it and throw a couple of dollars your way for being the ride or die chick. I heard a chick say Plies was a real man. Algernod Washington is a real man???? So because all of his album titles say something about being real, you believe it? Or is it because he's "loving and kind" in his lyrics. I really and truly want a woman to explain to me what makes a guy like him real. From my understanding, this is a guy who did indeed have great grades in high school and went on to college. In similar fashion to me, women rarely gave him any attention. Then he dropped out of college and gave up on his dream to follow what his brother wanted. True, it did into a good career for him. However, just like all rappers he is a puppet. That means you'll never hear the true story. What you will hear is oh yes I was a true gangster growing up and sold those drugs too. I stayed getting arrested. Algernod only been arrested once and that was for assault. My point is, people are always looking in the wrong direction for somebody to follow. I grew up wanting nothing more than to be a positive influence on my family and kids in the neighborhood. To me, there is a far better life than risking the chance of being arrested or even killed. If people are going to talk about someone, you would rather them talk about the positive things than the bad things you do. Most of all you should be real rather than fake. Trying to be somebody your not defiantly puts you in line to being fake. I live in a world that has a bunch of people who will sell their sole for money and fame. Who will degrade and disrespect themselves to get ahead. What happened to the honest way? What happened to encouraging the next guy or female? Channels like VH1, MTV and even BET puts a unique spin on racism but most of all it's about ratings and putting on a show. On VH1, you have these so called dating reality shows where celebrities pretend to find "love". I bet America loves to see the African American females act how they are "supposed" to. Being ghetto, fighting, cussing, overly sexual and most of all like desperate gold digging hoes. The Caucasian females are portrayed like they are holier than thou. Like they are better than everybody and own the world. At the same time, VH1 tries to justify these actions with role reversals. So on the Caucasian celebrity's shows there is usually one black chick that gets picked on early and among the first voted out. On the African American show, there are more black chicks but a handful of other races. Somehow the black celebrities always keep at least one person from another race in the final four but never works that way on other show. On BET, they do absolutely nothing to shed the black race in a positive light. All of their shows show African Americans in a stereotypical light. BET wants so bad to be like MTV and VH1 that they lack originality. They basically have copy cat success. How are you the Black Entertainment channel and do your race worst than the more Caucasian based channels? That's exactly why I rarely watch that channel. On a more everyday level change has really occurred either. In fact, everything seems to still be the same as in the past. A high percent of black students flock to Historically Black Colleges and majority of Caucasians flock to the Ivy League schools. High schools are found in three separate ways. White, Black and mixed. Most of the time high schools are mixed because of small towns and for sports. This is my insane society though. I could go on and on about various things I see. However, there has to be somebody who shares an equal viewpoint. Sometimes you hate being different and having a deeper insight on life. That's apart of being real and mature though. Yes, I don't drink, smoke, go to clubs and parties, barely talk to females, and any other "male" things but that doesn't make me any less of one. I hate ignorance in life. I hate the judgments and stereotypes placed on us all. I'll always speak on it because nobody can stop me. I don't expect for people to understand. What I do expect is for them to learn and pay attention to the words/knowledge being displayed. It's not that I think I'm better than anybody or even consider myself high class. I am what I am. I am unique. I am different. I'm most of all I am a new breed of man. Respect My Greatness

If I had power in the world it would be to make things drama and problem free. To make it where stress was a minor issue not a major one. I would want people to be less judgmental and appreciate most things in life. GOD is noticeably missing in a lot of people's life or if his presence is there, they don't have the proper faith. I used to be a non believer but then again I'm picky about believing almost everything. That's just the way I am at times. I sit back and watch the world unfold. Don't really see a point in becoming involved with the things that go on. At most I attempt to lend a hand when needed. Although half the things I do aren't even appreciated. The way I get judged most would think that I'm a very bad guy. I don't get it but never waste time trying to figure it out neither. My grandmother and mom told me that people picked on them a lot during their younger days. Mostly because they didn't have the material things others had. I'm product of them so I guess its only fitting that my life turned out the same. Therefore I could grow to value and appreciate life the way they have. Truthfully, I would seriously not even like being into money. It tends to have one spoiled. For one to find themselves thinking they are better than most. The situation I'm in fits me most. Imagine that a young African American male working to get a degree and become successful. Whereas most do this type of thing to make it to create their own path, I do it for everybody who supported me. If I got LOTS of money then so does my family. However, even if I had just enough to get by I'd still find a way to share. I'm not a selfish person. My intention is to help anybody who looks deserving. I'm the type of guy who can have useless money in pocket and would be quick to share it with a homeless person. People are always quick to say those who gotten in that type of bad situation deserved absolutely nothing because it was there life choices not mine or anybody else. Those people I don't listen to. As a world we should all be united. Nobody should attempt to put down anybody regardless of their decision making. Mistakes are apart of life. There are those who continuously do get into these crazy spells where most just sit back and wait on them to reach their downfall. I don't know what kind of world I life in. What I do know is, if I can make a difference then that's my goal. I got the money to be able to donate then it's done. There are kids who have college dreams but feel they won't make it. I want to either inspire them and/or create scholarship funds so the chance can possibly be a reality. I've said that before. And I'll keep saying it because somebody has to step up. I'm not trying to imply that Jamaree' is the only one attempting to do things. I'm more so implying leaders can found in almost any place. Apparently some find that leaders need certain qualities. Like there is a rule book written somewhere? As I say, a leader doesn't necessarily have to stand out in the crowd or be the loudest one in a room but you know maybe I'm wrong. So as long as I can change a few lives here and there then to me everything is fine. My biggest drive is to make life for those I've grown up around. True, I've heard it said that material things shouldn't matter and to also let GOD handle everything out of your control. Things get so frustrating. To be 20 years old and see the things I do is ridiculous. However, again it's all apart of life. I still though can't help but want to the tools to fix certain issues. To be the one who can solve everything. Otherwise I find myself feeling so defenseless. For instance, my dad isn't in my little brother's life the way he should be. Therefore, I play the role of father in order to relieve my grandmother of all the work she has put in to raise him. What I fail to realize at times is, one doesn't talk about the things he does or accomplishes because GOD rewards those who do out of the goodness of their heart not ones who expect something in return for their services. That's simply not me at all. I just want to work until everything I've set to do is accomplished. Then I can rest and sit back to enjoy life how I want. However, until that time comes it's a fight I have to endure. A fight that I'll gladly participate in until the end. People don't understand and pretty they never will. Stop complaining about what's not going right, appreciate what is going right. Other things will work it self out later.

A lot of people have been asking me why exactly I have never had a true girlfriend. The answer I used to give has truth but I wasn't sure that is the exact reason. A lot females just don't find me attractive. There is nothing wrong with that if you ask me. Opinions are just that. However, I do find it so funny that I'm said to be my dad's twin. So if women find him to be so attractive, I guess you would think the same for me right? Nope been that way all my life. I've either been the ugly guy, too nerdy, too skinny, too quiet, too this and too that. That's a sob story though lol. Let's get serious. People might as well face the fact that I'm just different. I've always followed a different path and done things outside the ordinary. So with that said you can pretty much figure out that I only like a certain kind of woman and also I basically deal with a certain type of people. If that's being judgmental then I want to apologize right here because it's not my intention. I touched on most of my likes and dislikes in previous blogs such as the Real Man series and Roses. One thing that truly bothers me is how most guys go for looks and body. I look at personality and the way a woman carries herself. I hate how guys have given so much attention to these women that they basically develop stuck up ways and value looks so much. I don't need nor want a woman who is pretty and stands out in a crowd. What I look for is the woman who nobody really pays attention to. One who, like me, stays away from activities such as drinking and smoking. One who doesn't go to clubs and don't get involved in partying. Getting back to the looks thing, I truly, truly am disgusted by the things I see. Women dressing all inappropriate thinking they seriously look good. The sad thing is guys encourage it so therefore we see more and more of it. Women use this as their magnet to draw the guys in. That's pathetic man. Me personally, my perfect woman could be wearing a pair of jogging pants and a sweatshirt when we meet I'll still find some beauty. Even if women did think I was attractive, I wouldn't ever stoop to the level most guys do. Women have it where guys are always hitting up the gym and attempting to get these bodies to show off. Guys trying to go out in buy these expensive cars and just overall all these things that make absolutely no sense. For these reasons, I stand alone. This to me doesn't make a real man. A real man like me deserves a woman that appreciates me and I can truly appreciate her. Where are the women that love her self for who she is? I don't need the swearing. Acting ghetto and being embarrassing. I need a woman who is a true GOD fearing and church involved woman. Someone who values conversation. Somebody I can learn about and they can learn about me. Somebody who enjoys life and takes advantage of blessings. A woman who is in school and working on accomplishing her dreams. I don't want somebody who has to depend on me. Me and her should be able to rule the world together. I should be able to give her space and she gives me mine. Somebody who I can take around my family and not be ashamed. I notice how females like taking these crazy and sexual pictures putting them on their pages, not a good look but hey if somebody likes it then that's on them. I wouldn't want my chick to associate with people like that. If I'm playing PS2 then I wouldn't mind if she picks up a controller and attempts to play as well. I want a chick that is proud of me despite what anybody has to say negative. I need a chick who will be supportive and understanding. Somebody who stands by me and I can do the same when things are both good & bad. I would rather have a loyal chick. Not someone who says I'm loyal but she proves it. Somebody that's honest. I would especially love a woman who isn't sexually active. I would appreciate one who is a great mother to her kids. I don't need a woman who knows how to cook because I can cook for myself and if she has no problem learning that I'll teach her. I don't need some woman smothering me. One who doesn't let a man breathe. One who has jealous ways. One who can have a man go out of their way to make them happy but at the same time they don't ask for much, if at all. Is that too much to ask anybody?? My perfect woman doesn't exist because no woman could fulfill ALL that. The difference with me is, most people settle for what they can get. I'm a real guy I want someone to be serious with. I don't want to go through a series of women until I finally reach my goal. That's pointless

All around the world men and women alike ask a question related to finding the right mate. Some ask will I ever find that so called "one". Others ask is that one right in my face and I'm just the missing signs. The rest just settle for what they can find and enjoy life that way. Me? I don't care either way. I'm considered a special breed. Personally, I call it being in a category only I'm allowed to fit in. That's just my opinion. In part one, these special type things I thought made a man were shared. Again that's just my opinion. If you didn't read it, I'd advise you to. Maybe you'll learn something. As I've said before I'm not a no it know all, a specialist or professional. Whether you name I'm not it. Jamaree' is simply an observer who pays attention to every single detail, largest to the smallest. Here's what I mean. Men nowadays have put themselves in such a negative light that women group us all together. No matter what say I or even the next dude does right, a woman will see either see wrong and/or find it hard to trust a blessing. Men have hurt them so much that they are afraid to take chances. I can honestly see why. Why put your heart into anything when it's a great risk of being destroyed over & over. It's not fair to anybody. Heck look at me, I've never even had a girlfriend. Women treat me like crap all the time. The only reason I still hold them in great regard is because I was raised and taught right from wrong by all sorts of women in & outside of my family. In fact, I wouldn't be the man I am without that push. Anyway, most men don't know how to be sensitive to a woman's feelings. They can't show any emotion at all without feeling like a punk, less of man and so forth. I can boldly admit that I'm not afraid to neither cry in front of a woman nor admit any feelings I have. Dudes reading this may have negative words to say but that opinion doesn't hold any weight to me. I'm serious though, how can a man feel as though women should say what's on their mind and be open when most men can't even do that themselves. I would rather us both be open so we can have more understanding and have a general sense of direction. That's why most couples don't last very long. It's always an obstacle standing in the way. When men make women cry, they hate to see it. Therefore, why do it? I see a woman crying and I start crying. Simply because I don't like hurting anybody, it's not my bloodline at all to stoop to that level. What I don't understand, never will, is how women can let a man get the best of her. To make her feel less than the woman she is. Yes I know of the fact that emotions and love can create a powerful situation. That still doesn't lead me to my answer. I've seen plenty women in fist fights over men and even killed over men. On the opposite side, I've seen the same with men with it comes to certain women. So it works both ways. People take this love thing entirely too far. You can't even make a joke with your best friend related to his mate without him/her getting somewhat upset. Percy Sledge once said, "When a man loves a woman he can't keep his mind on nothing else. He will change the world for the good thing he found .Turn on his back on his best friend if he put her down." When it comes to my few little friends and their relationships, I let them have as space as possible. I don't do drama although I know it's a big part of life. I hate confrontation but deal with it I have to. Truthfully, I thought being educated, having goals and a plan to succeed in life, being hard working, and just overall you could gain the positive attention of anyone. Apparently I'm wrong though. So I guess women are hypocrites of themselves. They can't find Mr. Right because their morals are messed up. Most men are followers who don't know which direction to turn. They can't find Mrs. Right because their thoughts are always in the wrong place and they don't take time to really love women how they want to be loved. Women come on my Black Planet, Myspace and Face Book to check out the guy who sent them a request. Quickly they look at my picture with questionable eyes. Oh, he isn't all that cute, he ugly and so on. If they get past the picture (which most don't), they go to judging me before even taking a chance to know me. It's not just me. Plenty of guys are judged. Just like women are judged. Difference is most men (with me excluded) focus on the assets. If a woman has the body but not the look, she's a sex object or target. If a woman has the right type of facial features but not the perfect accessories, she's probably a main stay so a dude can front with his boys. With a female, she's checking to see his style, what kind of money dude making, his facial features and how appears to be in bed. Mostly if you ugly, a female won't even give you the time of day. Trust me, I've there my whole life. I even find the sex thing to be highly overrated. People take advantage of that situation. I've always considered that everything a woman gives a man has to be earned not just handed out. Sex is one of those things. If I ever did decide to have sex it would have to be someone who is special and worth it. Not just a random person that I like or someone to just satisfy me. Every part of a woman's body to me is like a treasure. You have to appreciate every aspect of it. Her heart is to be greatly appreciated and protected. It carries the most weight in everything. Her mind shows what intelligence and personality she has. If it does come to sex, let her know it's not just a pleasure situation. This is more so another moment where we can express the love we have between us. Point is, love has a value but not a price. You can't buy love nor can you force anybody to love or like you. You also can't do a little and expect a lot. I guess most guys feel as though that doesn't hold water because women let them in their lives so easily at times and take control. I'm pretty sure though if a woman is real and strong it will only be so much she could take. I'll be quiet for now and let all this sink in. Maybe you'll see what I mean. Maybe you won't. That's not the point of me saying all this. Its expression

I was reading a story one morning that said a 17 yr old high school junior was dropping out of school and decided to play professional basketball in Europe for a year. A move similar to one made last year by Milwaukee Bucks top selection in this year's NBA Draft, Brandon Jennings. The difference being, Jennings was a top rated senior and was originally slated to enroll at the University of Arizona. Instead of being in a classroom and the McKale Center practicing with his Arizona teammates, he was in Italy preparing to play his first season with Lottomatica Virtus Roma after signing a $1.65 million dollar contract. Jennings also signed another contract with Under Armour worth 2 million dollars thus becoming the first ever basketball player to be sponsored by the company. According to him, the experience is not what he thought it would be. "I've gotten paid on time once this year," Jennings said in an e-mail message. "They treat me like I'm a little kid. They don't see me as a man. If you get on a good team, you might not play a lot. Some nights you'll play a lot; some nights you won't play at all. That's just how it is." Every year a list is compiled of the so called top prospects in football and basketball of the respective year's senior class. World known sports recruiting news websites, such as Rivals and Scout, all create their top 250 prospects around the United States. Jennings was the overall top prospect of a class that also featured Tyreke Evans (Memphis), B.J Mullens (Ohio State) and Demar DeRozan (USC). Majority of the recruits who are in the top 15 have followed a trend of becoming labeled as one and done players. This means that they enroll in college for one year to meet the NBA requirements and enter their name in the NBA draft pool. Each freshman is almost guaranteed to be between a 1-24 slot in the first round during draft, leaving the second round to mostly foreign players and players who chose to stay in school to either their junior or senior year. Jennings was the 10th overall selection this year. Meanwhile, Dorezan was the ninth, Evans the fourth and Mullens 24th.Overall out of the 30 selections made in the first round, 18 were underclassmen. The top selection, made by the LA Clippers, was a sophomore named Blake Griffin. Usually the chances aren't good for second round players to even make an NBA roster. Unlike first round picks, they aren't provided a guaranteed contract. Those players have to again deal with the hectic process of working, enduring struggle, long nights working on their shooting and so on. As a fan of all sports things like that bother me. Why doesn't the NBA apply the same rules as NFL? All athletes should be treated fairly the same, but it hasn't been that way. Never will. The NFL requires a player to have spent 3 years in school before entering their draft. Often times a player who left school after their junior/redshirt sophomore year and entered the NFL draft, will be considered a top 20 prospect. A good percent of the time they are selected as high as number one. However, seniors like Jake Long, who was drafted 1 overall by Miami in 2008, gain heavy attention as well. In the NBA that is hardly the case. It starts with the yearly recruiting process. Coaches put all this attention on bringing in the latest "great players" and atomically promise them playing time. Guys who are currently on a college basketball roster aren't seen as having much talent and potential so people ignore them especially the NBA. They are overshadowed by the new big time recruit mainly because the media has a bias and their coach has allowed it to happen. Recruiting has been hyped up so much that all you hear is the same names over and over along with seeing prospects turning their college decision into a wait & see show. Then when they do decide it comes along with a major press conference. Take John Wall for example. He was a major name in the 2009 class. In fact the top name. Where most prospects signed with a university and got their decision out of the way, Wall waited until the very last day for signing period to decide on University of Kentucky. Many coaches prefer prospects to make a decision ahead of time so they can move on and get the next available guy of interest (if things don't pan out with the first). Kentucky coach, John Callipri, spent his time getting rid of players currently on the UK roster. True, he was a new coach inheriting a team full of players that weren't recruited by him but does that mean get rid of ALL of them before seeing what they can provide? To bring in a bunch of freshman, who do have talent, yet they aren't proven nor have shown they could transfer their game to the college level. How do the high schools allow it if they don't provide the same treatment for players who aren't receiving as much attention, but still has offers and wants to announce his decision to the world? Also why does anybody need a press conference to announce a college decision? I take this as high school's just want enjoy spotlight. Figuring this is a way to put their school's name in the papers and media. "We produce great talent". The recruitment process of athletes and players leaving after one or two years has taken away from the basketball game. If the NFL had the same rules I'm sure players would be leaving after their true freshman and sophomore yrs as well. Athletes don't seem to take education serious instead its all about the money. Now true enough, Lebron, Kobe, Garnett, D. Howard and Amare Stoudemire didn't step foot in a college classroom but still went on to become big name stars. Guys like Carmelo, Rose, Durant, and so went to college one year, they became big stars as well. For those reasons, I can see why the decision is so easy to leave college early. However, what about those players who want to do both play sports and get an education so they have something to fall back on just in case things don't work? Tyler Hansbourgh, Terrence Williams, and guys such as them should be seen as role models too. Simply because they stayed all four yrs in college and got a degree. Tyler and Terrence could've been high draft picks in 2008 but stayed in school and were still high draft picks in 2009. I'm quite proud of that. How I used to see it was that the NBA is rewarding players who they know wouldn't make it in college and other circumstances not even out the "hood" without being able to play a sport. Look at Eric Bledsoe who just signed with Kentucky. I know for a fact that his grades are nowhere near up to par in order for him to enroll in a division I school. In fact, that was the story surrounding him for the longest time and didn't anybody appear to realize that the story disappeared. It went from him being in danger of having to enroll in a community college to Parker High Coach Maurice Ford saying all he needed was a B in math. Bledsoe went from a bad situation at Hayes High School where he starred in football and basketball to a worst situation at Parker. Ford by no means cares about grades. I'm a unfortunate from Parker and saw this personally. Look at his graduation rate as it relates to sending players to college. All of them had potential, just not the grades therefore nobody talked about the players. You could make a case for current Detroit Piston, Walter Sharpe, but even he had grade struggles. In fact, he was kicked out of Mississipi State. He came back to Birmingham and enrolled at UAB before leaving early. Even though his numbers didn't stand out, surprisingly he was drafted. I'm sure this is a case at a lot of schools. That is why good players end up at Division II or Division III schools. These are the players who are really determined to make it and have the biggest struggle. However, you never hear of them getting drafted or even getting a call from an NBA team. Yet in the NFL you do. On the other hand, NFL has room for more opportunity and depth while the NBA only has room for 12-14 on an average roster. So truthfully how does the process work? One cannot say that they are rewarding players who wouldn't make in college because when you think about it, anybody can make it if their mind is put to it. If the person couldn't make it to college then how did they manage to maintain the proper GPA and requirements in order to be deemed eligible? For this reason, I feel as though it's a lot of cover-ups and lies being told. I personally think the real process goes as follows, players are either really smart or don't take education as serious. The really smart ones receive offers and atomically know they will be in the NBA at some point. They have the potential to stay all four years but yet there are a whole lot of people in their ear during freshman year. Family members and friends saying take the money. College coach saying at least enter your name in the draft while secretly hoping the player will stay at least another year or two but at the same time it all depends on how the program's potential to win because recruits are often drawn to winning a championship. Media teasing up how talented you are and the best player on your team while ESPN putting over how you are in the standing of a top draft pick. The players who didn't have the grades have to deal with a lot of grade fixing and repeated ACT taking. When they are finally in "good standing" and enroll at a university. Coaches often encourage tutoring, sometimes for people to take tests for players, more grade fixing and etc. For instance, take the University of Alabama State football program that was put on probation. This case involved a lack of institutional control; a failure to monitor by the former head coach; and violations in several areas, including academic fraud, recruiting, extra benefits, as well as ineligible participation and financial aid. Penalties for the violations, including those self-imposed by the university, include five years of probation; a ban on postseason football competition in 2009; a reduction in recruiting activities; athletic scholarship reductions; vacation of records; a compliance program review; and a two-year show-cause order for the former head coach. Coaches in basketball and football alike risk this type of thing all the time with recruits. Recruits want to earn money so bad that rules are bent. Players are often discouraged from enrolling in smaller programs and D2/D3 because they believe bigger programs are the only way to gain success. This is the biggest factor in all college athletes life. Instead of going somewhere just to play and get an education, they enroll places just to be in the spotlight not for the education. The players who are enrolled at big time programs for both a degree and playing ball aren't always considered a lock for being drafted. It is so interesting how an underclassmen who didn't receive a degree can make 40 million and a senior who gets drafted in most likely the second round, will receive at most 1 or 2 million if he makes the roster. The NFL is similar but at same time it offers fair opportunity and goes more of need rather big names. In their draft, more seniors are drafted in early rounds, and underclassmen aren't always guarenteed to be a draft pick. Point is, I never see things in sports ever changing because its always going to be the same. Money will win over education. The sad thing is, majority of these players share the same skin color and thus making the stereotype seem more true. True, I know families need money and other people have valid reasons for wanting the money. However, with majority of those athletes never going to back for their degree at some point then does that mean education is truly not important? Also when that bone breaks and the doctor says, its over for your career but most of the money is gone what is your plan? Thats the question

Lights dimmed. I black out while reflexing but still careful of how I choose the words that I'm about to release. The emotion I feel is a mystery, its like life you'll never figure me out. Wait, Wait. Who the hell am I talking about. Nobody ever bothers to go that far. I try and try to revert from the icy cold man that I usually am but man niceness don't seem to pay off. Deep down i'm angry and wanna explode yet somehow I keep my cool. I look up to sky man God, i'm trying. I lock myself inside a box they call the dorm room, crank the music up to block out the noisey world outside of the one I live in, and relax my mind. I've been blessed with a gift and given a mission. What exactly that is I have no means to share. I am just the fingers typing away on this keyboard expressing the thought of man. You are a person whose mind seeks my knowledge or just enjoy the words that I bleed/smear across these blogs. Want to know what I really can't stand is those who are going through a bad situation and don't appreciate a person taking the time to actually care enough in provide advice. How dare I as a man see an issue of either man or woman and not say one word at all. If it were me, I would value any wise words people deliver. Yet people are so disrespectful and know everything but the right thing. I know thats your business and life so its best I bow out of the way. Little ole me is not of any importance. I am a lonely person who is well on his way to the road of success. Hmm, now ain't that funny. Me, a BLACK man from the big city in college getting a degree. Me, a BLACK man working on four careers of which I planned way back in high school. Now what other 19 year old you know is that focused. I have my struggles but yet I have the mind to accomplish all things through GOD and the pain. You really want to know something, let me educated you about me. Behind these glasses is a man that was raised by a large group of women and a small percentage of men. Yes I was lucky. What you also don't know is, my mom was a junior in high school and dad a 20 yr old trying to mature while living life on the fast lane. I on the other hand was born sick, and scared. Too young to remember the surgery that I had to go through as my kidneys failed and doctors had to operate. All that's left is a scar to remind of the process. A grandmother who raised four boys, three of which made it to become men while the other did not. R.I.P uncle Julius Collins. How I wonder what you would think if you really knew. So let me continue to deepen that look on upon your face. A grandmother, who took in a little boy and said you know what he is truly going to be something one day. A little boy when he learned to talk looked at everybody who would listen and described his little master plan. They listened, why can't you. People say i've changed. No I just wised up right underneath your nose. Don't respect me, I'll never respect you. Do things to degrade yourself, I'll wont ever in my life respect you and at the same time stay away from you. Like I said, if I bother to help you then appreciate it because wasting time is not something on my to do list. I am not some kind of God nor do I pretend to be. I just happen to see the world from a different angle than you. Maybe i'm right, Maybe i'm wrong. Maybe I'll say something that will change your life. All I can tell you is know me before criticizing. Ask me about myself before judging. Pay attention to the message that i'm trying to give before ignoring me. Take the time to let me learn about you and you about me before deleting that friend request or accepting but no conversation. Understand people, friendly i'm not nor do I pretend I am. I only associate with the one's who inspire change and want to become role models. For those who are not undercover racists. For those who aren't crying over a man or woman who apparently doesn't seriously want you. Life is full of a lot of things and worrying about what was lost only holds you back from accomplishing the great thing. Think people, think. When i'm not around family, I mostly walk the world alone and do things myself. Thats the only things will ever be right. I extended my hand for love to join me but love doesn't want me. So I give it the middle finger, close my eyes and take a deep breath in walk to the stage. The people are waiting and chanting my name. Yet its all in my head. Nobody is really on my side or is there. If so let me know. Otherwise let me be and continue this to become history in the making. The spotlight is officially on me

Dear GOD, My cousin Jamaal, My cousin Jamaal. What can I say that you don't already know? Nothing. However, I'll tell still tell the story just from my point of view. Me and him were the beginning of grandkids Grandma Jean thought she would never have. How wrong could she be. I was born in may of 1989 and he was born in june of 1989. It gave off the appearance of our fathers racing to be the first to give their parents a grandkid. We spent a lot of time around each other growing up. We also spent plenty of time fighting. Fights I usually won because of as he still says today, I fought dirty as a tot and often used biting as my main weapon. Something he apparently had no defense for lol. If you look at pictures from our childhood, you often can find one of me and him together. Me with stubby little legs from the chubby days and him with the big ears everybody made fun of him for. It was always me and him, no matter what as we grow older. That was then. As time went along, I became more to myself and he became very girl crazy. One thing about Jamaal is, its hard to figure him out at times. However, it was no secret that he has been a follower most of his life. You would think my uncle's version of tough love would make Jamaal scared to do anything negative. Instead it was the opposite. My uncle is a drunk no question about it. Yet on the off chance you keep him sober, he is one of the toughest people I know. Never backed them from anything nor anyone. Jamaal from what I saw wanted to be like his dad but on a greater level. For example, my uncle dropped out of high school and Jamaal wanted to combine with me so we could become the 1st two males in our family to gain a diploma. The problem was, Jamaal was illiterate which became greatly apparent when he got in the fifth grade. Therefore, he was sent to special education classes or as everybody at my elementary/middle called it "Mrs. Carter Class". Everybody seemed to know that whoever was in the class needed some kind of help or special attention. Even the 1st graders knew. I felt so embarrassed for Jamaal. He never said anything but I knew it broke his heart. However, Mrs. Carter loves him and still talks about him today. Pretty soon Jamaal transferred to Bush Middle School to begin sixth grade. Bush is known throughout Birmingham for always having the largest band for a middle school. They were even bigger than most high schools. I don't know what life was like for Jamaal over there but I do know he always talked about it being the greatest school ever. My guess is the surplus of females not the school itself. With the transfer, Jamaal went back to staying full time with his mother who had by now moved to an area called Ensley. My uncle believed that Jamaal had grown soft due to him now spending most of the time around his mother. She and her mom would always spoil Jamaal with money, food, or just whatever he wanted. Shoes were his favorite, more specificially Jordans. The proof for my uncle's theory became apparent when one day, something happened (can't remember what) and uncle punched jamaal extremely hard. He in turn called his mother. This led to the dumbest argument I personally had ever heard. The end result was no laughing matter. Connie, Jamaal mother, proceeded to officially put my uncle on child support. A move she had been threatening and had never acted upon until then. My view of the matter is, everybody including her knew that my uncle didn't have a steady job. He had never even gained his GED. Basically he was in a struggle. Connie knew that my uncle has a violent temper and used the the child support thing to both prove my uncle really cared about maal and to provide an excuse to get him put in jail. To her it was a win/lose situation. One thing that stands out to me is, from my dad to my uncles the situation was same. My parents hate each other. My sister's mom hates my dad and close to putting him on child support. Jarvis parents hate each other and always fighting. The same thing was happening with Jamaal. Only difference was, Jamaal often caused his parent's fights. They never just happened. Truth be told, I thought a lot of times Connie and my uncle were still in love with each other but knew deep down it would never work like in the past. It was apparent with their conversations on the phone. Problem is, Connie developed this motherly protective thing over Jamaal. Nobody could say or do anything to her "baby". No matter what he did. Thats why whenever he gotten into anything, he would just call her. My uncle would hit him or get on his case about something, Maal would run to the phone. I laughed at him to be honest. He seemed so sensitive. However, he was a lot smarter than I thought. Connie never saw it coming that Jamaal would use her love to create a blindness. I saw it begin. He started hanging with a tough crowd. Plenty of nights he would sit outside my grandma's house smoking with them. She never knew because he would wait until she was fast asleep. I knew because nothing is secret while having cousins and a little brother. What makes it funny is, Jarvis was the informant. He always was. The one who would keep me and grandma updated about everything. Jamaal went from that to becoming even more girl crazy. His cell phone became the greatest gift anybody ever gave to him. He started fighting. My uncle would always get mad at me due to me never helping. His belief was, if one of the grandkids fight all of us should jump in. My belief is, I don't know who that person knows or what they have so I'll be as far away possible. I have never been in a fight and don't plan on it. Not that I'm scared, just don't see a reason for violence. Jamaal got to high school and became an even bigger follower. By now Jordans had become an even bigger craze. At his high school and mine, you were deemed unpopular if you didnt have the latest pair. He had dealt with unpopular all his life and made sure to a pair everytime they came out. I never bought a pair and in fact, never got the hype. His popularity would rise later at his high school because he became close and started working with a guy who sold them for half price. Jamaal paid next to none for them and would often wear in two pair to school. One on his feet and the other around his neck. Never understood why. Maybe just to show off. The guy would later fire him because he began to lose trust in Jamaal. From there, he started working with anybody he saw in my neighborhood. It was then he began following in his father's footsteps of painting and remodeling houses. This seemingly put him in the right direction. However, I was wrong again. The tough crowds was just to much for him to look past. He did, on the other hand, complete his mission of getting a high school diploma. I think at some point he developed a jealously of me. When I don't know. Everybody got talking about all these things I was accomplishing, awards I was winning and me going to college. I personally don't like attention. Jamaal though heard it all. So he started saying, I'm going to college as well. We all knew that if it was in fact true, Jamaal was going to community college. His grades limited his choices. Eventually the college thing didn't work. So he started trying to find work. A couple of jobs here and there came up but none bigger than his chance to work for UPS. That job was basically his until he failed the drug test. Jamaal had officially taken a fall. He even started hanging with his other cousin who was known to be rough around the edges. A cousin who had a great chance to be enrolled at a D1 school on scholarship playing football because he was that good. Yet the streets overcame him. He was taking Jamaal under his wing. Like his apprentice. Keeland is Batman and Jamaal is Robin. Now I hear KeKe got shot due to him robbing a man. Jamaal being who is, went after the man and beat him up or so I heard. Now he has a job at church but according to my uncle he is close to being fired due to item constantly being missing under his care. I used to hear good things but now all I hear is Connie going from the protective mother to asking my uncle for help because Jamaal has spun out of control. Stopped listening to her. God I pray that my cousins on the right track. I don't want to see anything happen to him. We may not talk or be around each other but thats still my blood and my uncle John's only child. I understand he could've been a better father. Still I just want him to be on a positive track. If there is anything you could do please hear my prayer. My grandma's heart is weak, she worries so much about her grandkids. God if you could ease her stress and pain, I would be forever greatful. Amen

Some where not to long ago a mothers around the world gave birth and out comes a large group of future stars. One will become a singer. Another will be in the movies. The next will be a rapper. Proceeded by the athletes, big name doctors, authors, movie directors/producers, television & reality celebrities and the list continues. Half of them go through life being popular or just known around their neighborhood. The others follow a path like I'm on now, they were basically "nobodies" who had talent and would later accomplish many great things. I remember reading somewhere that high class celebrities like Denzel Washington and Will Smith were always picked on. They didn't have the looks women go crazy over now back then. The crazy but sad truth is, regardless of how known or not known those people were when money came so did the attention. Rapper Mike Jones took a bold approach. Instead of doing like most, he acknowledged the way people treated him in the past. At first, I had great respect for him as a person because its always been my belief that you can forgive and get over the past but never forget it and where you come from. Stay true to yourself is what I say. In particular, he said one line that stood out "back then most of those females couldn't stand me but now the same one's are begging me to....." Yet, there he was still giving attention to those same women plus women that he would've never gotten in his life without fame and money. True, I know we all are human and would take advantage of certain situations were put in. However, I wouldn't and thats the honest truth. Why? In my opinion, money shouldn't change as much about a person's life other than the things they TRULY need. For me, I would put my family in a better situation. Meaning a house in a better environment and provide them transporation to get around. Food, paid utilities, and things of that nature. I would start scholarship funds, give back to my community no matter if I liked it there or not (its still where I was from), I would give money to an old school I attended, give money to the homeless, do some stuff for the neighborhood kids and save the rest until I needed it. One thing I wouldn't be is a sell out. I know women don't pay attention to me now and half them catch an attitude if I just try to speak or do some nice such as hold a door open. Thinking that my male instinct to try and get with them. When basically I'm being nice, nothing more. So why would I let all these flock to me and try in talk with me because I gained some fame and money? I would rather just deal with real women who actually did atleast speak to me or attempt to hold a conversation when I was just Jamaree' Collins from Birmingham, Ala trying to make it to the top. Not Jamaree' Collins the writer, the restaurant owner, the psychologist or whatever I make it as. People have made celebrities seem less than human. Celebrities have let money get to their head. The record label executives sit back with wide grins and fat pockets because their artist is portraying a fake image and their followers are greatly buying into it. Athletes get paid stupid amounts of cash which they waste on the craziest things instead of saving or investing. It is known that they face a great risk of injury and possibly death especially in football. However, that doesn't justify their spending habits. A mansion I possibly can understand somewhat. The 30 cars, the movie theatre and other accessories they add to their house I'll never understand. Yet at the same time, they make others who gain money want to follow in the same footsteps. Somebody watches MTV cribs and says, "when I gain money my house will be even better than that". Sad. Celebrities are human though. They cry. They laugh. They make mistakes, big or small. And most of all they are living their life. However, they don't have a normal life anymore. Money pretty much takes that away. If a male celebrity was gay, he has to hide that if he becomes a rapper, singer, athlete and sometimes depending on your status as an actor. Their record label, coaches and etc know but it becomes hush, hush. That instead becomes a big rumor on the blog site. A lot of them find it hard to hide. Nobody should have to lie about themselves. If Johnny Gill said ok I'm gay, tommorrow. Half of the world will respect him but everybody else would make him regret saying anything. The world is so cruel and full of fake people. Look at the rappers. Plies went to university of South Florida and almost earned his degree in what I forgot. He didn't even want to rap but yet his brother went to jail and now he is living his brother's dream. His brother felt that Algernod (Plies) had the look and style people would go for. Now look at him on the record's proclaiming he is a full blooded "goon". Yet everybody ignored the fact that fellow Miami rapper Trick Daddy called his bluff. TD knows the truth and so does Plies. He only has a jail record because of an assault charge stemming from a fight in a club. Other than that, he is no more a thug than me and my great grandmother. William "Rick Ross" Roberts. Had potential to make it to the NFL. He attended Albany State and majored in criminal justice. Went there on a football scholarship. Trick daddy called him out to. Provided the information showing Roberts used to be a patrol officer not some drug dealer as he proclaimed. Roberts could've saved his fake image by simply saying ok I did it but was a crooked cop. Instead he denied and denied until the truth came out. Algernod and William are pathetic cases of what trying to live a fake life does. They know the risk of losing fans and having low album sales so they have to keep us this act. Williams is the more sad case. He might be a drug dealer now but wasn't none of the things in his lyrics before. Even his rap name is stolen from a real criminal. Algernod struggles keeping up his image because the soft side shows entirely to much in songs. You can't be a goon or thug while continuing to make hit songs based of love. In a sense rappers are smart but make dumb decisions. More so they are a protype of what their record label wants. There are rappers like Jadakiss, tariq kweli and common who stay true to themselves. Make positive music. Real Hip Hop is what the older people call it. Even Deandre Way ,aka Soulja Boy, is pretty smart. His music may not be popular with everybody but business wise the kid makes his money. How can anybody hate somebody for making a living doing what they know best? People are quick to say that if I had a record deal, I would be so much better than this person and that person. It may be true but do people ever realize maybe someone received their blessing for a specific reason. Curtis Jackson, 50 cent, is hated by everybody because he too cocky and annoying. Yet anybody who know him will say he very smart and makes his money. Vitamin Water sell to Coca Cola alone earned him in the billions. Actors and actresses fall in the same boat. Their success grows hot and so does the attention. You can't even go anywhere without hearing, "Man I would date Halle Berry" or "Girl, Denzel is the finest man alive". That made it clear to me that looks along fame will always be the number 1 factor in life. Especially looks. I remember in high school all the females would talk about just the same group of guys. Either they went to my high school or another. It evolved from that to females saying these high school guys aren't nothing, I want me an older man. I overheard a female who attends UWA say recently, "The ugly boys are always the smart ones and the Fine boys are usually dumb or less smart" Thats how people have always viewed life. What she said couldn't be any less true. I'm smart but females call me ugly all the time. My best friend trey is not all that book smart but females find him to be the greatest thing walking. The difference with me is, whether I was cute but not all that smart or smart and cute, I would still like the same girls. Ones that are very smart, who actually go to class, dress approiate, either gains attention but turns it down or never receives much attention at all, she doesn't have to the finest girl in the world because in my mind GOD made all of us the same, she doesn't drink nor smoke, doesn't party, she's career and education driven (like me), not scared to work hard, attends church and most of all she is independent. The world doesn't provide women like that or at least I don't think. Back to the point of this blog, celebrities as I said are normal human being. Trying to make their money by any means necessary. Problem is, people put them on such a high pedestal that they are often seen as immune to making mistakes. Chris Brown blew up at the age of 16 and all of the females went crazy. The normal expected type of scene. He got in a relationship with another singer Rihanna a few years later and life changed. In february, they got into an argument because he was cheating which is the normal human thing male or female. He beat her up, panicked and fled from the scene. All of sudden, he went from mr. popular to most hated. Now I by no means condone what he did. It wasn't right to hit a woman for any reason. I wouldn't ever do it no more how mad I got. However, does anybody stop to think about their side of the story? Also does anybody think about their own life? Rumor has it that Chris was always abusive to her and she always accepted him back. We as the people never knew because it happened behind closed doors. Ike beat Tina and she stayed as well until she got tired. Rihanna probably would've did the same. However, when more people knew about their situation it became harder to accept being with me because everybody was always on her case about taking him back. It was also rumored that Chris saw a lot of abuse from his father to his mother while growing up. Maybe, just maybe him and Ri Ri had that talk about his past. Maybe she understood and thats why she stayed. Whether people want to accept it or not, things in our past can contribute to how we are a person later in life. There is some woman who said I don't respect Chris anymore, but has a boyfriend or had a bf who beat her black and blue almost every night. Yet she stayed with him. There is another woman who said I'm not buying anymore more of his CD's but is constantly raped and treated like crap by a friend or bf, yet she kept him around. Also her mouth closed. People are hyprocites. I don't ever say anything because I know my life isn't perfect. My life and my family's is all screwed up in places. So is everybody else in America. Yet people pretend problems dont exist. Celebrities are crazy for being quiet about things. If you know it isn't true then either don't say anything or if you are so tired of it then speak up for yourself. A sex tape gets to the public, america goes into a frenzy. A celebrity gets arrested people become shocked. Yet, somebody releases a tape of some everyday unknown couple to youtube, ghettotube or just some site nobody cares. A female degrades herself doing porn and people all watch but nobody is saying what if her kids saw this. While she is degrading herself, the fact of the matter is this woman is making a life the best way she knows how. Sometimes we take risks under the times and pressure. People just can't seem to accept that. My uncle got arrested did anybody care outside of my family, nope. He even lost his job. So my summary is, Money does change life but its up to the person who gains it to decide how it affects their life. Power is well power, just never abuse it. Respect is earned not given. Fame goes to both when your revelant or your decisions while the spotlight is on you. If you do some great and positive that stands out your fame lasts. If you just earn fame but don't do anything then your forgetten when the next person comes along to take your spot. _ Solution__

Dear God, If I had the choice of a superpower, it would be having the ability to make people see the goodness they possess and stay on a positive track rather than falling into the negative lifestyle. I would make life easy for a person to feel safe walking outside in every neighborhood around the world. As of now, it angers me to see the things I do. However, the sad reality is I knew that my family and friends weren't immuned to that life. Before I was even born, my dad wasn't in a gang but he hung around those type of people even the drug dealers. They were people he grew up around. The thing was my grandma had put enough fear in his heart that he knew it wasn't the right direction to go. He saw it a slightly different way though, I won't join what they do but these are people I'm used to being around and therefore I won't stop being around them. I always fought to surround myself around only positive people. Couldn't really find that so I just stuck to myself mostly unless I saw kids who just happened to be similar to myself. Truth is, its very rare that I've made my own friend. I always had help. It is so few situations where I walked to a person or they walked up to me and we can became friends soon after. My three best friends were basically made through other people. D.J, I met him in kindergarten because his mom and my dad were close at that time. Tardell, was in my fourth grade class but can't remember how exactly we became friends just know somebody played a part. Trey, was new to my middle school and his aunt (who was my teacher) made that friendship happen. Chris, I met through a long time family friend. So basically friendships can be made all kinds of ways. Through those particular friendships, I learned a variety of things but none better than D.J. He was used to violence and living on the wild side which is why I wasn't surprised when he joined a gang. I wasn't surprised he got into a bunch of fights through his life. D.J started hanging around with a tough crowd and therefore I started losing the person I grew up knowing. At some point, he caused people to develop a serious hatred for him because he was just that type of person. He had no fear and didn't care what he did or said to anybody. It wasn't a shock when the bullets rang out but the intended target wasn't anywhere to be found. An innocent victim dead because he hung around D.J but they couldn't find him even though he was near. At the park playing basketball. I consider that to be a blessing in disguise although a life was lost. A lot of times, I wondered did Reggie dying ever effected D.J emotionally. Or was that going to change him. It didn't. He just became more cautious. Even started carrying a gun. One thing though which made me and his family proud was, he still had a college dream. The same day I became the first male in my family to receive a high school diploma, he was not far behind me accepting his as well. He was supposed to be headed to UAB so he could be a walk on for their basketball or football team. The problem was, his grades weren't in top share so he enrolled at a community college and began to think about joining the marines instead of chasing the basketball dream. That was the last I had heard until one day when visiting home my freshman year I was told he was awaiting trail for robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Now here we are in the present day. He is currently serving a 5 yr sentence and I'm continuing to walk the path I've set for myself. I'll never forgot what D.J said before going to prison. He told me, I made some mistakes in my life that I can't take back but I've always known you out of everybody had the potential to go very far. I want you to continue doing what you do and never stop for nothing. Make it for all us if you have to. I kinda thought dealing with that situation would be the last I would see in awhile. On second thought, I personally didn't necessarily have to deal with anything because of being settled in and hours away from Birmingham. My cell rang and the news started flooding in. Most of it was just your typical keeping me updated news. What did catch my attention was about my cousins Jarvis and Jamaal. Both of them caught up in a life of trying fit into a world of the stereotypical african american male. Drugs, gangs, being lazy and fighting. I kind of laughed to myself because truth be told GOD, I knew it was a matter of time before their environment consumed them. Mostly due to the fact that unlike me, their parents weren't as active in their life like they should've been. Jarvis used to be book smart. Jamaal always struggled. Both of my uncles, James (Jarvis father) and John (Jamaal's), have always been a friend of the bottle. Both spent plenty of nights in a drunken daze and wondering the streets. My dad is no saint but he doesn't drink as much as his brothers. To my uncle james credit, he often spent time with his three boys which is why Jarvis always looked up to him. The problem was, my uncle and his wife (Jarvis mom) spent more time fighting each other. Due to this my uncle was always in trouble with the law and drunk other times. Therefore he couldn't spend time with kids like usual. Jarvis spent plenty of nights crying and feeling neglected. I admired how even still he took charge as an older brother. He did teach them some bad things but he did more good than bad. Jarvis heart slowly got colder and actions became bold. His mentality became if they are going to fight instead r heaise me properly then I gotta make my own way. It also didn't help that the wrong people were in his ear telling him things. I'll never forget the day he decided to wear blue and decide to claim the letter C. That was then. I look at him now. Staying with my grandma because his mom and other grandma put him out of their house at 14 yrs old. Why? Because he mustered the courage to strike his mother and broke his grandmother's arm. I could see that coming as well. Jarvis never got along with his mother because she was jealous of his closeness to his father. They spent plenty of days arguing and he also spent plenty of days getting a beating because of his favorite words, "Quita you aren't my momma, I don't even have a momma." She never told him happy b'day nor gave him anything for that day or holidays. However, that doesn't justify his actions. The ironic thing was, although my grandma stays in a rough neighborhood (that should be safe being that we stay across from the police station) she provided him the best chance to make it in life. Or so I thought. Jarvis started out fine but apparently since I've been away in college, he has developed a habit of walking the streets late at night. People always warn him about that but according to him, people worry to much. He has developed a habit for getting into fights and hanging with a tough crowd. I hadn't even made it home but a few hours and had to sit him down for a talk. Everybody seems to wanna yell at him for what he does wrong but nobody tries to figure the root of his problem. Thats where I came in. I actually talk to him in hopes of hearing what he has to say and providing a reasonable answer. No matter what I do though, his mentality doesn't appear to be changing. He still fights. Still stays out late even on a school night. His favorite phrase is I'm not scared to die. What to do God? I pray you can send not me but my grandma and his father an answer to this prayer. Jarvis has potential to do a lot of things. He even has a chance at being a great basketball player, just not the grades anymore. GOD can you please, please send my family a solution to this problem?