Llfe Skills

Reason Why Kids Go Bad


Lack of Encouragement: in other words pressure from without really promote desirable behavior. One can seldom "make" a child behave, study, apply himself, if they chooses not to do so. Pressure from without has to be replaced by stimulus from within. Reward and punishment do not produce this inner stimulus, or if they do, it is short-lived and requires continuous repetition. This is different from inner stimulation. Once a child moves voluntarily in the right direction as a result of intrinsic motives, the chances are that they will continue to do so without any outside influence.
What the child decides to do depends largely on his or her own concepts, their perception of them selves and others, and his or her methods of finding a place for them self. As long as they are not are not discouraged in their efforts to integrate themselves, they will use socially accepted and constructed meanings. However, if the child loses confidence in their ability to succeed with useful means they will give up, or switch to the useless side of life. This loss of confidence in themselves and in their ability is discouragement.

There is hardly a child whose parents do not have difficulty getting him or her to leave the bed in the morning, to climb into it at night, to eat properly, to put his belongings away, to stop fighting with siblings, to be on time, and to help around the house. "Karaceous" speaks about the "continouum of normal-violating behavior," which ranges from these minor transgressions to the most violent forms of juvenile delinquency.
All of these children are discouraged in one way or another. Consequently, each child needs encouragement like a plant needs water. Without it their growth is stunted in their potential zapped.
"Encouragement," is so crucial that the effect of any action is actually determined by the extent to which the child is or is not encouraged. "And many teachers know this." but when it comes to the black child do the teachers care? Obviously not, dangerously get the lowest form of discipline which is to be put out, expelled from school.
Which takes us back to the fore mentioned "However, if the child loses confidence in their ability to succeed with useful means they will give up, or switch to the useless side of life."
Edited by LifeSkills.
Book By W.C. Karaceous, Delinquent Behavior (Washington DC. National Education Association, 1959.
From "encouraging children to learn"
Dink Meyer and Dreikurs



Dealing with fear

Fear triggers humans innate fight or flight reflex. When fear sets in it can inhibit us from accomplishing our goals. As a martial artist we are faced with the reality that what we are training for is the ability to fight in either a ring or an uncontrolled environment such as a confrontation on the street. Although we may train many hours on our techniques, practice many sparring sessions and conditions our bodies hard, this does not prepares us for some of the mental aspects of a fight.
In my experience of fighting in a ring, I did experience some of the emotions of fear that creeps into the mind as I had readied myself for combat. These emotions interfere with the fighting ability we have spent much of our lifetime training for.

Meditation. The subject of meditation is large although it's a relatively simple thing to do (training martial arts is a form of meditation) there are many techniques on the subject and the books below in my opinion are most worthwhile to read.

One technique I learned from reading an Osho book (http://astore.amazon.com/mema ndrec-20?node=4&page=12)was on how to deal with the fear emotion itself and not let it consume you. When you enter a difficult situation the fear emotion will no doubt enter your mind, this is the mind's way of protecting itself. This emotion will essentially set the body to shut down so that you can make run for it. Unfortunately this emotion will very much consume your whole mind stopping you from being focused and using your well trained skills, it also affect your body making it more tense and less sensitive to the situation around you. Osho says when the fear emotion/thought enters your mind, the thing to do is to recognize it, then acknowledge it and then let it go. Don't try to block it, recognized it as just a thought, don't feed it, let it pass out of your mind. Over time with training the fear thoughts will pass instantly.

Breathing. I wrote some time ago an article on breathing. Breathing, a very simple/natural thing to do, is also the easiest way with dealing with our emotions, especially fear. When I spar with my students the thing I reiterate the most, is to remember to breath. It is well known that the flow of your breath is strongly related to your emotional state. Therefore by making our breaths long and deep we keep our body and mind calm. It sounds easy, but it is very hard to do. As soon as I engage in any confrontation situation or even something competitive I try to remember to breath from the low part of the stomach. If its not possible I try something easier, I remember to feel the breath as it comes in and out of my nose or mouth. This brings the mind attention onto the breath.

Enjoy your training.
Posted by Nick



4 Survival Skills Every Kid Should Know
If your child were alone in an emergency, would he know what to do without an adult to take care of him? Allstate Insurance and Lisa Bedford, author of "Survival Mom: How to Prepare Your Family for Everyday Disasters and Worst Case Scenarios," has identified four emergency situations in which all children should know what to do if they are alone. Call them the ultimate survival skills.

From playing with a pocket knife to breaking glass, find out five dangerous things kids SHOULD do!

Survival Skill No. 1: What to do if a child is lost
A lost child is a scared child, and usually her first instinct is to begin searching for her family. Train your children to stop and sit as soon as they realize they are lost. Assure them that, no matter how scared they might be, you are searching for them at that very moment; but also that, if they keep moving around, it will take longer to find them. Consider equipping your children with an inexpensive cell phone and when venturing outdoors, a few survival items tucked in a backpack or their pockets. Items such as a whistle, a bright bandana and a bottle of water are the makings of a kids' survival kit that will go a long way to helping them be found more quickly.

Survival Skill No. 2: How to answer the door when a child is home alone
Usually the best strategy is to not answer the door! Yes, the person knocking could be a burglar scoping out the neighborhood. But once the door is opened, it's that much easier for an intruder to enter. And children are easily overpowered. Train your child to enforce home security: Keep doors and windows locked and blinds and curtains closed. Noise from a TV or radio is fine. Those with questionable motives will think twice about entering a home if they hear noises inside, even if the house is closed up and no one answers the door.

Survival Skill No. 3: What to do in a medical emergency
From a young age, kids can learn how to dial 911 and report an emergency, but this takes practice. Spend some time rehearsing phone calls, teaching your children to relay detailed information to an operator, follow his or her instructions and then stay on the line until help arrives. If possible, children should also get the home ready for the arrival of EMTs by putting pets in closed areas and, if it's nighttime, turning on both indoor and outdoor lights. Summer is an ideal time for children ages 9 and older to take first aid and CPR classes.

Survival Skill No. 4: How to maintain situational awareness
This one skill can help your child avoid many dangerous situations. The concept is simply for children to be aware of the people and events around them. Parents can help their children become more observant and aware--not by scaring them, but by playing games to teach and practice this skill.

* When driving in the car, ask your kids to describe a building or vehicle you just passed.
* Teach them to pay attention to the route home by asking them to give you driving directions.
* Tell them to close their eyes and describe what someone in the room is wearing.
* Encourage them to check out the license plates of passing cars: Which states are they from? What is the sum of the numbers on the license plate?

Being aware of their surroundings will help them avoid predatory people and other dangerous scenarios. Simple to teach. Fun to practice. And, quite possibly, a life saver.

http://astore.amazon.com/meman drec-20



14 Ways to Show Kids You Love Them

How can you best love a child? It's not with a trip to the toy store. It's a lot harder and more expensive--in terms of your time--than that. Find out five stupid things parents should never do.

The American Academy of Pediatrics offers 14 tips every parent and grandparent can use. Print this how-to list and tape it to your refrigerator:
1. Use plenty of positive words with your child. Try to avoid sarcasm since kids often don't understand that kind of language subtlety and instead perceive it as negative.

2. Respond promptly and lovingly to your child's physical and emotional needs and banish put-downs from your parenting vocabulary.

3. Make an extra effort to set a good example at home and in public. Use words like "I'm sorry," "please" and "thank you."

4. When your child is angry, argumentative or in a bad mood, give him a hug, cuddle, pat, secret sign or other gesture of affection he favors and talk with him about his feelings.

5. Use non-violent forms of discipline. Parents should institute both rewards and restrictions many years before adolescence to help prevent trouble during the teenage years. Allowing children of any age to constantly break important rules without being disciplined only encourages more rule violations.

6. Make plans to spend time alone with your young child or teen doing something she enjoys.

7. Mark family game nights on your calendar so the entire family can be together. Put a different family member's name under each date, and have that person choose which game will be played that evening.

8. Owning a pet can make children, especially those with chronic illnesses and disabilities, feel better by stimulating physical activity, enhancing their overall attitude, and offering constant companionship.

9. One of the best ways to familiarize your child with good food choices is to encourage him to cook with you. Let him get involved in the entire process, from planning the menus to shopping for ingredients to the actual food preparation and serving.

10. As your child grows up, she'll spend most of her time developing and refining a variety of skills and abilities in all areas of her life. You should help her as much as possible by encouraging her and providing the equipment and instruction she needs.

11. Your child's health depends significantly on the care and guidance you offer during his early years. By taking your child to the doctor regularly for consultations, keeping him safe from accidents, providing a nutritious diet, and encouraging exercise throughout childhood, you help protect and strengthen his body.

12. Help your child foster positive relationships with friends, siblings and members of the community.

13. One of your most important gifts as a parent is to help your child develop self-esteem. Your child needs your steady support and encouragement to discover his strengths. He needs you to believe in him as he learns to believe in himself. Loving him, spending time with him, listening to him and praising his accomplishments are all part of this process.

14. Don't forget to say "I love you" to children of all ages!

Find out eight life skills most young adults lack. Their baby boomer parents know how to do THIS, but they never taught their kids.

How Fast Is Fat?


HOW Fast Does Fat Hit Your Waistline?

Have you ever gorged on a big meal and then had to loosen your belt because your tummy was so full? And if you had the nerve to weigh yourself right then, no doubt the scale would register a couple more pounds than you might expect. Turns out there is a reason for both. After a big meal, fat hits your waistline in as little as three hours and causes actual weight gain, according to researchers from Oxford University in Great Britain.

Your waist size is a far better predictor of heart disease than total body fat. Find out the numbers for men and women.

London's Telegraph reports that the fat in food can be converted into tissue around the plumpest parts of the body within hours--far more quickly than anyone previously thought possible.

Led by Fredrik Karpe and Keith Frayne, the Oxford team found that the first fat from any meal enters the bloodstream about one hour after being ingested. And just three to four hours after that, the fat will have been incorporated into the adipose tissue, which is in the fat stores around the waist.

Translation: A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. If you eat a meal containing 30 grams of fat, two to three teaspoons will go straight to your waist. And if you continue to overeat, the fat will then move into tissue around your hips, rear and thighs.

The study has shed new light on how we gain weight, and it is much faster than anyone thought. Prior to this, it was believed that food moved from the tummy into the blood where nutrients were used by muscles; any excess was then stored as fat. Instead, the fat is quickly moved around the body and stored--for good.

The process is very fast, " Karpe, who is a professor of metabolic medicine, told The Telegraph. "The cells in the adipose tissue around the waist catch the fat droplets as the blood carries them and incorporates them into the cells for storage. If you eat too much, you don't get into this phase of starting to mobilize it. There will just be constant accumulation, and you will start to put on weight.
"What can you do? Get on the treadmill. The Oxford team also found that fit people have an easier time getting rid of unwanted fat, since exercise gives a long-term boost to fat-burning mechanisms.

The study findings were published in the journal Physiological Reviews.

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