Harris County LIVE: w/Daraja Hakizimana "Close & Personal" (SouthsideSmoke Shop, Smoke Or Die, X-wife, Coughee Brothaz & My Block Recordz) (Pt2) - darajasstreetjazz's Blog
Harris County LIVE: w/Daraja Hakizimana "Close & Personal" (SouthsideSmoke Shop, Smoke Or Die, X-wife, Coughee Brothaz & My Block Recordz) (Pt2)
B.P: What was going through your mind at that point? Were you upset?
D.H: The look you see on my face right now was pretty much the look I had back then. I was completely shocked, in disbelief, and very confused. "Did she sell me out? Did she do it intentionally? What the hell just happened?" was all that was going through my mind. Everything was cool as we were heading downstairs. I was even able to make her laugh at ourselves and the mess we had made before the cops arrived. All my neighbors saw me as I was being handcuffed. I was humiliated and at a loss. I still wonder what she really said to the officers that night.
B.P: What was she doing the whole time this was going on?
D.H: Honestly I don't even remember, I was in such disbelief. That was one of the longest rides to the police station in all my crazy days. I bonded out and tried to fight the case the following weeks. Meanwhile, my ex-wife and I reconciled. I was growing tired, so I settled and took the probation. My lawyer's exact words were "If you had made up two weeks earlier, you could have gotten the case dismissed before the State of Texas picked it up."
B.P: Why did you settle for a charge you felt you weren't guilty for?
D.H: I was young, still in love, and we were already back together. Besides, the situation was started to hinder us from going foward. Had I known then the direction of the whole thing, I sure would have fought harder to keep my record clean!
B.P: You mentioned you had gotten back together. What happened then?
D.H: We got back in another heated argument a month later, and it all started coming together as to what was really going on. See, she was 6 years older than me and as I got older and my ideas and visions started taking more shape, we bumped heads a lot more and eventually grew apart. So, if you ask me, I think it was all about power and control. Two months passed and I got sloppy with the probation. I missed one visit, went through a depression, spent more money than I needed to, and simply got off track and careless with the probation. I only had one main objective at the time I really wanted to accomplish, which was the "Back Against Tha Wall" project. Once that was completed, I closed my downtown studio and turned myself in to serve my 1st 90-day sentence rather than the probation. Once I got out, I got back on my grind. I purchased another better studio downtown, got another ride, and read a book called "Conversations with God" by Neale Walsh given to me by my dad on my 27th birthday, along with some other books by Osho (Bhawang). They really changed and shaped my religious and spiritual views. I also found out my mother-in-law had moved from New York back to Houston and purchased this big mansion in Bellaire, where my x-wife and children were living, further driving a wedge between us. I guess for my ex-wife and I to have somehow remained together as a family, I would have had to either move in with them or be able to provide for them a similar kind of lifestyle. However, at that time and as luck would have it, I was still recovering financially from the predicament of the previous year. I'm pretty certain that, had I tried to move in with them, her mother would have been thrilled to ask me to leave at the first opportunity to turn up, such as a disagreement.
B.P: Why would you think that?
D.H: Her mother was not in favor of the marriage and would constantly tell my ex-wife she would distance herself and not help out if she continued her relationship with me. One time during one of her visits, I remember we were excited and told her we were working things out. She literally broke out crying and shouting that we were stupid and that she would not support the marriage any longer. Looking back over all those years, we were constantly going through separations. But we always tried 'one more time' despite it all.
B.P: Wow, what happened next?
D.H: Yea, she would come to visit me at my new studio. It was during one of those times she told me she had an affair while we was seperated and while I was locked up. At that point, I was officially done with our relationship (or I was over it all). Months later, she put me on child support and started the divorce proceeding. And ever since then, the relationship concerning our children has been difficult and frustrating. Another year and a half later she remarried and moved out her mother's home.
B.P: To the guy she had an affair with?
D.H: No, someone else. In fact, he's a lawyer. I'm so not the type to air out my dirty laundry. But at this point, I feel like I have no choice. Right before I turned myself in, we spoke briefly on how my son was doing in school and her reply was he's doing good. The next day when I picked him up from school I was informed he had a 55 in social studies. I also found out she was teaching at the same school as my son's English teacher. What do you do? Any parent in my shoes would want an explanation! And, of course, I discussed the grade with him. But where is the accountability on her part, considering that she is the primary parent? I pay my child support which is actually over-paid. My family, including myself, is constantly there for her support. Yet still, it feels like war sometimes dealing with her, it's ridiculous. Just last year there was a situation concerning her and my son that made our local news stations on TV and that was totally unnecessary: (refer to links:)
Had she listened to me weeks prior, the incident might not have ever come about. Thank god the stranger that picked him up was a good person and not some lunatic or pedophile. Luckily my little girl is not having the same issues, but I'm not waiting around 'til she starts having them either.
B.P: So what are your plans concerning her and your children once you get back to normal life?
D.H: Once I get out, I'll make one last effort in trying to talk with them reasonably about a resolution. And my resolution is I want more time with my children. Obviously, on her part, she can't handle it all and she never has been able to. In the end, it'll only benefit the kids, since I've been highly involved with them since the beginning and always will be. I have family members who are constantly available and on board with helping my children get an education. Only time will tell, I'm just getting tired of waiting. I place my faith in God that it will all somehow work out. It's really hard some days and I'm really tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy. Time Will Tell!