What Are Men Looking For?


I was reading an article not too long ago, about what women should do to make a man fall in love with them and it made me think. The article advises women to conceal whom they are and play mind games. It advises that women be attentive and make eye contact a little longer than normal: beyond the ending of a man's sentence. It went on to suggest that women make a stance on issues men bring up only enough to come across as intelligent but not to the point that you make the man feel as if you think you know everything, come around the man often and then make yourself scarce.



I will admit, I considered taking some of these things into consideration but something within myself decided against it: at least for a short period of time. I have actually changed my mind and now agree with it to a certain degree. It is somewhat strange actually. I hear too often that people should just be themselves and that dating is not about games but I really think that it is all a crock. Admittedly, I am guilty of withholding things from men purposely, dumbing myself down as not to appear as Ms. Know-it-all and I am sure men do the same in their own little way. I am also guilty of playing the old bait and catch and the cat and mouse game. I have actually been a bit more upfront than usual for the past few years and have to say, it really is not working for me. I am beginning to believe wholeheartedly that men really do like the bull%#&@$! they claim not to: the chase, the illusion, the mystery. The more and more I think about it, the more I come to grips with the fact that I used to do those things more in my past and allowed myself to become more vulnerable once I was more sure about the man I was with. Not to say that relationships have not come out of my being so upfront because they have. I just have not wanted the types of men that have been pursuing me these past few years.



I wrote a blog called "To Set it Out or Not to Set it Out" and it touched on how men view women that give it up to them quickly to a small extent. Some men that responded said that women who give it up on the first night does not put them off, a relationship could come out of it, we are all grown blah blah blah etc. To that, I say B U L L S H I T! Not to say that people have not had relationships blossom from their quick sack attacks but keep it real men. Respect plays a major role in relationships and when we as women have sex with you quickly, you do not exhibit the same respect for us as you do the women that make you wine them a bit before the panties drop. I think too many men do not want to admit it because they are scared they will run some of that snapper away. But to no avail, there are always going to be women who will still give it up to you if they want. I am guilty of it myself. However, after some soul searching, I have come to realize that some of my actions don't correspond with my wants and desires and I want, need, and deserve more than what I have been receiving lately, thus, this blog.



I used to think I knew it all but lately, I am not so sure. So, what is it that you men are after for real? If anyone cares to speak truthfully, please do so, and try to keep the BS to a minimum - I am allergic to it ;)

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Female, 55, Richmond, KY

Posted October 04, 2012

What do men want? I sure would like to know! I have been seeing a gentleman for 22 months now; and we have been off and on. He says he cares but we could never be a couple because of my attitude; yet I have put up with his cheating all this time. He says we will always be friends and calls 6 or 7 times a day. Does this sound like friendship to you?

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